Week 4 is over, and everything’s starting to fall into place. This week saw the fall of all but two undefeated teams, the continuing insanity that is the best teams in the Backyard making us all feel bad about ourselves, and the return of winning AIs! Yeah, that last one’s not really a good thing.

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK

Arizona Diamondbacks vs. Milwaukee Braves

After two straight weeks in the Backyard Conference, the Matchup Of The Week moved to the Indoor for a game between Sisu’s 3-0 Arizona Diamondbacks and Natetastic’s 2-1 Milwaukee Braves. Despite high-quality records, these teams were quite different in how they perform. For the Diamondbacks, their success relies upon Jay Green, who over the first three weeks of the season went 11-for-12 with an unprecedented 10 home runs and 26 RBIs. Meanwhile, the Braves focused more on defense, using not only their traditionally defense-focused home field of Sandy Flats but also a strong defense to keep their opponent’s scores down (making up for some lower scores of their own). Since Sisu was on vacation, he wasn’t in the broadcast booth and the game wasn’t hosted on his channel. Instead, for one game only the broadcast moved to elchrisblanco’s Twitch.

Unlike the two prior MOTWs, this game for the most part wasn’t close. Sandy Flats known for keeping scores down, but the Diamondbacks struck quickly in the top of the first when Jay Green hit the ball past the centerfielder with a runner on second. The runner on base scored, and Jay Green used his speed to turn the hit into an inside-the-ballpark home run. As it turned out, those two runs were enough, as the Braves were unable to muster much offense and only scored one run on the day with a sacrifice fly in the bottom of the first. The Diamondbacks took over for the rest of the game, and walked off with a fairly easy win despite their depressed offensive performance.

Arizona Diamondbacks 7, Milwaukee Braves 1

Next week’s game: Minnesota Twins vs. Florida Marlins (the first Frontyard matchup, and one that returns to Sisu’s Twitch!)

Player of the game: Who else but Jay Green? I know, Randy Johnson got named the Indoor Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK for his 1-hit shutout performance, but this award still goes to Jay Green. The best batter in the game right now went “only” 2-for-3, but those two were home runs, and he contributed 6 RBIs off of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets the nickname Atlas this season, because he’s taking the entire weight of the team on his shoulders game in and game out. (Well, maybe not the entire weight of the team; Randy Johnson leads the Indoor Conference in strikeouts and has a 0.25 ERA.)

FRONTYARD CONFERENCE

New York Yankees 11, Florida Marlins 7

The Marlins have been a tough team to assess this season. On the one hand, they won two of their first three games. On the other hand, those wins were close, and their loss was an absolute blowout where they only scored one run in the bottom of the sixth under questionable circumstances. While I’m inclined to believe that the Marlins are actually pretty decent and aren’t getting their due, since those close games happened when their opponents also put up decent scores as opposed to both teams putting up low numbers, the Marlins still haven’t put up a double-digit win. This week was no exception, as while they did well offensively by scoring 11 runs off of 21 hits and a walk, defensively they struggled, allowing 4 runs and a shockingly enormous 16 hits. This was part of their downfall; the other part was the New York Yankees bouncing back after having their worst game of the season against their toughest opponent yet. The Yankees also scored 11 at Tin Can Alley, pulling that score from 18 hits and 2 walks, but unlike the Marlins, they only allowed six hits and two runs, and ended up with a solid win that keeps them battling for first in the conference with the Twins, Athletics, and Dodgers.

Player of the game: Both teams had solid outings from most of their players at the plate, but for the New York Yankees their biggest component was Shane Smith, who went 3-for-4 with a pair of singles and a double. He contributed 3 RBIs while scoring once himself, stole three bases, and didn’t make any errors. Also, his favorite pizza toppings are mushrooms and green peppers…just a hint for the next time the coach grabs pizza.

Minnesota Twins 3, Junior Athletics -1

Remember how I said that winning AIs have returned? Well, this is the first game where it happened this season. For those curious: whenever the AI beats a player in the player’s game, the score is recorded as a negative run differential. Which means yes, it is possible to win despite losing to the AI; it happened last season, when the Tampa Bay Devil Rays beat the New York Giants by a score of -5 to -5 (the Devil Rays AI got the home bonus…yeah, things got freaky in the extremely subpar NL West that season). For the formerly undefeated Athletics, this game was just a collision of a bunch of bad luck: nerfs, great hits barely going foul, groundouts and strikeouts at inopportune times, and eventually, a cancellation of the postgame press conference after the game went into extra innings and ended in an Athletics loss where they only managed to score one run off of twelve hits and allowed two runs of their own despite getting twelve strikeouts. The Minnesota Twins didn’t have the greatest game either, scoring only 3 runs on 9 hits, but they shut out their opponents and took the win, unseating the Athletics from their undefeated perch and putting them in a four-way tie with the Yankees, Dodgers, and of course the Athletics.

Player of the game: Todd Xavier had a great game for the Athletics, putting up 12 strikeouts in an extra-inning losing effort. The Twins’ Julie Dunkel was better, though. On the mound, she may have only posted 7 strikeouts in a shutout game where she only allowed a single hit, but offensively she was also a force to be reckoned with, as she went 3-for-3 with a single, a triple, and a home run, and scored all three Twins runs.

Los Angeles Dodgers 9, Little Giants -3

Speaking of AI wins, this is the second game to have one this week. The Dodgers put up their weakest performance to date in what was still a pretty good game, managing to get 8 runs in off of 12 hits while shutting out the Giants AI. Despite that, it was their AI that was too much for the Giants, as while the Giants were able to produce a pair of runs off of 6 hits, their pitching (and a couple Aluminum Bat power-ups gained from a double play) let them down as they allowed 5 runs to score off of 6 hits. The Giants still have yet to win a game, while the Dodgers are in a 4-way battle from first–and still haven’t lost a game for any reason other than a forfeit.

Player of the game: Ronny Dobbs had a great day at the plate for the Dodgers, going 2-for-3 with 2 home runs that knocked in 6. Still, he doesn’t win the award; instead, that goes to their pitcher, Gretchen Hasselhoff, who pitched a 4-hit shutout where she managed to throw an impressive 12 strikeouts. This performance was good enough to make Gretchen the Frontyard Conference’s Week 4 PITCHER OF THE WEEK!

Tampa Bay Devil Rays 19, Humongous Hornets 15

I doubt many people would’ve picked this game to be the highest-scoring one in the Frontyard Conference this week, but that’s what happened, as the Hornets and Devil Rays both put up their highest scores on the year. The Hornets were confident heading into this one, and with good reason, as they scored 14 runs on 23 hits while only allowing one of their own. Still, I think it’s fair to say that nobody saw this performacne coming from the Devil Rays, as they put up a score that may be the best of T-Boz’s career, churning out 21 runs on 27 hits while allowing two runs of their own. Consequently, the Devil Rays get back to .500, while the Hornets remain unfortunately winless.

Player of the game: Derek McCattery put in a great effort for the winning Tampa Bay Devil Rays, going 4-for-5 with a single, a double, and two triples while managing 6 RBIs and scoring thrice. However, Zena Fromme of the Hornets was slightly better, as she went 3-for-4 with a double and two homers that totaled 7 RBIs and 2 scores for her. Final verdict? Zena Fromme is the Frontyard Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK–cold comfort for her team, I’m sure, but a great accomplishment nonetheless.

INDOOR CONFERENCE

Texas Rangers 21, Baltimore Bombers 20

Talk about a tight matchup! Both teams have really come alive this season, with the Bombers embracing the way of the grounder and Jyknight’s Rangers continually finding ways to win. These trends continued at Dirt Yards this week, as the Bombers once again pulled out all the stops, getting 22 singles, 4 doubles, 3 triples, a home run, and 4 walks as they won 20-0 against the AI. Unfortunately for them, the Rangers had a better day once their performance was prorated, as they scored 20 runs on 21 hits and 4 walks as they won 20-3. Without proration, their run differential would’ve been 17; with, their adjusted score was 24-3 (to account for the missing bottom of the 6th) and they won by 21, just barely edging ahead of the Bombers and staying undefeated.

Player of the game: Texas Ranger Pete Wheeler might just have rockets instead of feet with how fast he goes. He was going plenty fast in this game, as he went 4-for-4 with two singles, a double, and the game’s only home run. He notched 4 RBIs and scored 5 times himself. This was good enough to make him the Indoor Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK! When asked to comment on his performance, Pete only said “Huh?”

Super-Duper Melonheads 9, Seattle Fishes 7

The Melonheads finally get a win! Unfortunately, it comes against the winless Fishes, so someone was guaranteed to get one, but a win is a win. Plus, it’s not exactly undeserved for the Melonheads, as they put up their best game so far with a run differential of 9 (previous high: 2), scored 11 runs (previous high: 6), got 25 hits (previous high: 13), and won 11-2 in their game. Things weren’t so bright for the Fishes, unfortunately; while they’ve been solid all season, they haven’t been quite solid enough, and that was the case in this game, as while they scored 6 runs on 16 hits and shut out the Melonheads AI, this wasn’t quite enough to get them into the win column. With this game, the number of winless teams in the Indoor conference falls to two: the Fishes and the Reds.

Player of the game: Perry Marx of the Fishes had a very good outing in a losing effort, going 2-for-3 with both hits being homers. These hits brought in 4 runs, including the two he scored himself, and helped the Fishes at least be competitive. After the game, Perry mentioned that he just wanted to forget the whole thing and watch some Psych. I agree, and Office Space is a great episode.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association 12, Boston Reds 3

For once, JOMAR didn’t absolutely obliterate his opponent. Instead, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angels Association put up a comparatively subdued performance, scoring 10 runs on 19 hits and shutting down their opponent’s AI offense. This wasn’t enough to help out the Reds, though, as they were only able to manage 3 runs despite getting 15 hits and only allowing one hit to the Angels AI. The final result? The Angels keep rolling under JOMAR’s guidance, and the Reds stay winless.

Player of the game: Kimmy Eckman must’ve been on a sugar high this week, as she went 3-for-4 with a double, a triple, and a home run. While she only scored once herself, she had 5 RBIs, and was easily the best hitter on the team this week. Plus, her mother’s cookies make getting beaten by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association worth it.

BACKYARD CONFERENCE

Purple Sox 48, Wizard Wombats 43

There’s a rule in the league that says that once a player scores fifty runs in a game, that player doesn’t have to score any more–or rather, if more runs are scored, they won’t be counted. The Purple Sox finished this game with a score of 52-2; since that’s more than 50, they won by 48. This is the first time a team has put up 50 runs this season, and consequently it didn’t matter how the Wombats did, since they weren’t going to win unless they also put up 50. It’s a shame, though, since the Wombats also had a massive game, scoring 36 runs on 37 hits and 3 walks at Casa de Pablo for the second-largest score of the season and a final of 43. It just wasn’t enough to catch up with the Purple Sox, who scored 52 runs on 52 hits and 10 walks. The Purple Sox are now tied for first place in the conference with the Wizard Wombats and the Red Phillies, and are looking like the team to beat.

Player of the game: Kay O’Toole of the Purple Sox was the Backyard Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK! How’d she do it? Well, she went 9-for-9 with two singles, four doubles, two triples, and a home run, barely missing out on hitting the cycle twice. She scored 8 times and had 11 RBIs, and was also the main pitcher for the Purple Sox (Chipper Jones was pulled after facing just three batters and allowing an early solo home run), facing down 18 batters and allowing only two hits and a run–on only 33 pitches, no less. Was she a knockout punch? Yes, I believe she was indeed a K.O.

Red Phillies 27, Montana Floss 23

In a week full of large scores, this was the second most, as both teams combined for an adjusted 50 runs and an unadjusted 46. The Floss put up their best game of the season, registering another shutout while scoring 23 runs off of 36 hits and a walk and also stealing 22 bases. The Phillies did just as well, shutting out the Floss’s AI with an eleven-strikeout shutout defensively and a 26 hit, 2 walk performance that gave them 23 runs. Since the Phillies needed fewer innings to get their score, they get the home bonus and the win, tying them for first in the Backyard Conference with the Wizard Wombats and Purple Sox, while the Floss drop to 1-3 and are tied for last.

Player of the game: Offensively, Esmarelda Heimann was an absolute black hole and the only weak spot in the Phillies’ lineup. But on the mound, she had an absolute killer day that would’ve likely been the best pitching performance in the Backyard Conference were it not for a perfect game elsewhere. She pitched a 2-hit shutout with 11 strikeouts, and by staying on the mound all game helped ensure that her team didn’t suffer any excessive stamina loss. Hats off!

Junior Brewers 15, Green Monsters 7

After winning their first game last week, the Brewers continued rolling, taking down the Green Monsters at Tin Can Alley. This was the second time in a row the Monsters put up a disappointing outing, as they only managed 6 runs off of 18 hits (although unlike last week they managed a shutout). Meanwhile, the Brewers had no trouble at all, reeling off 29 hits and winning 17-2 to put themselves at 2-2 and the Monsters at 1-3.

Player of the game: Francis Blewer of the Junior Brewers (not to be confused with Frances Brewer of the Junior Stewers, a completely different organization that’s not even a baseball team) put on a clinic at the plate, going 5-for-5 with 3 singles, a double, and a home run. She had 4 RBIs and scored thrice, but bailed on the celebratory postgame mac-and-cheese dinner due to her lactose intolerance.

Baltimore Orioles 6, Boston Cubs 5

The Orioles finally got a win, this one a hard-fought ordeal against the Boston Cubs. For the Cubs, this was a game where they couldn’t buy a run, as they only managed 5 on 16 hits and ended up giving up a run defensively. That run was crucial, as if they had shut out the Orioles AI, the game would’ve ended in a 6-6 tie and the Cubs would’ve taken the win due to the home team winning all ties. The Orioles ended up taking the win, though, as not only were they miles more efficient by getting 6 runs on only 10 hits and a walk, but Marky Dubois pitched a 7-strikeout perfect game on only 46 pitches to ensure the shutout and give the Orioles their first win.

Player of the game: Perfect. Game. No question it’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK Marky Dubois, who in addition to his on-the-mound performance went 2-for-3 with a single and a double. Postgame, he invited everyone back to his farm for crawdads–that’s good eatin’!

STANDINGS

Backyard Conference
Purple Sox [aesnop] (3-1)
Wizard Wombats [Wizard] (3-1)
Red Phillies [crazyei8hts] (3-1)
Junior Brewers [jibbodahibbo] (2-2)
Boston Cubs [KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS] (2-2)
Green Monsters [Yurya] (1-3)
Montana Floss [JorgesBankAccount] (1-3)
Baltimore Orioles [Mavfatha] (1-3)

Indoor Conference
Arizona Diamondbacks [Sisu] (4-0)
Texas Rangers [Jyknight] (4-0)
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association [JOMAR] (3-1)
Baltimore Bombers [jlund] (2-2)
Milwaukee Braves [Natetastic] (2-2)
Super-Duper Melonheads [Eauxps I. Fourgott] (1-3)
Seattle Fishes [elchrisblanco] (0-4)
Boston Reds [shrewsberry] (0-4)

Frontyard Conference
New York Yankees [Marco] (3-1)
Minnesota Twins [Toast] (3-1)
Junior Athletics [MelloMathTeacher] (3-1)
Los Angeles Dodgers [hitace] (3-1)
Florida Marlins [skolgamingnetwork] (2-2)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays [T-Boz] (2-2)
Humongous Hornets [Vissery] (0-4)
Little Giants [SilverBullet102] (0-4)

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“It’s unfair, and I am disgusted.” –Marco, New York Yankees head coach, on powerup usage by the AI

“‘Ooooooohhhhh, Kay.’ No. Kay O.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, watching Kay O’Toole’s performance in the Week 2 Matchup Of The Week and inadvertently describing her overall performance this season

“I, uh–my dad says I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can run, real good.” – Pete Wheeler, Texas Rangers

“We’re back in the thick of it.” – T-Boz, Tampa Bay Devil Rays head coach, on their win

“Me and my cousin Boomer, we was hunting crawdads the other day and one jumped up and bit me! So I done bit him right back and says ‘Don’t you be sassin’ me Mister Crawdaddy!’ And took it home to Ma, who done boil it with some hot sauce and red beans. That there’s some good eatin’, boy howdy!” – Marky Dubois, Baltimore Orioles, on crawdads

“It is top-tier Trash TV.” – Toast, Minnesota Twins head coach, on The Bachlorette

“Can you stop losing on tiebreakers?” – JOMAR, on the Montana Floss and their penchant to lose close games

“I’d like that.” – JorgesBankAccount, on the Montana Floss and their penchant to lose close games

“We’re lost children of the sea…” – Ronnie James Dio, Black Sabbath, Children of the Sea