The World Series is here! The final games of the season, where a champion is crowned and everything ends! Last season saw a rookie taking on a long-time veteran for the trophy; this time, that same rookie returns (now a second-year coach) and will be facing off against…another rookie, who went from losing to the AI in the preseason to finishing the season 11-3 and sweeping their first two opponents in the playoffs. It’s been a long trip for both of these teams, but only one of them can leave victorious. Will it be the struggling Montana Floss, who have constantly fought just to be part of the playoffs? Or will it be the Junior Athletics, who have rode a strong defense (and all the offense that could be milked out of their lineup) to a surprising World Series slot? Let’s find out!

WORLD SERIES

Game 1: Junior Athletics at Montana Floss

The Montana Floss were the home team, which meant that they’d spend Games 1, 3, and 5 as the “home” team at Super Colossal Dome while the Junior Athletics would spend Games 2 and 4 as the home team there. Despite being the away team, the Athletics were the ones who had no trouble at the dome, as they produced 13 runs on 23 hits in a shutout victory over the Floss. Although Montana did see Brad Radke pitch a perfect game, their offense did nowhere near as well, as they only managed to score 7 runs on 21 hits and wound up losing by 5 runs after home proration was applied. This gave the Athletics a 1-0 series lead and kept them undefeated in the postseason as both teams prepared for Game 2.

Junior Athletics 13, Montana Floss 8

Player of the game: What’s more fitting than for the leadoff hitter to be the most important player in the leadoff game? Courtney Valentino has filled that role very well for the Junior Athletics this season, and Game 1 was no different, as she put together a 4-for-5 performance with 3 singles and a home run, notching 4 RBIs and scoring twice herself. Before the game, she did some light stretching and aerobics; after the game, she worked off some excess energy (and adrenaline) with an impromptu gymnastics performance.

Game 2: Montana Floss at Junior Athletics

The Montana Floss were hoping to even the series in this one, and they did notably better, as while they had only two more hits they managed to score 6 more runs over the course of their extra inning, and while Brad Radke allowed 4 hits he still pitched a shutout. This 13-0 win gave the Junior Athletics a run differential of 13 to overcome, and they almost did it. Defensively, the Athletics were on point, as Todd Xavier pitched a 5-hit shutout, and offensively they were also strong, managing 22 hits as the Floss AI made 5 errors. In the end, though, the Junior Athletics ended up winning their match 10-0, which with home proration gave them a run differential of 12–one run short. This allowed the Montana Floss to even the series and guarantee that it would last at least 4 games.

Montana Floss 13, Junior Athletics 12

Player of the game: Kathy Wolf was instrumental in helping the Montana Floss eke out a win. Like most of the team, she’s not known for a hefty power bat, but she regularly gets on base. That’s exactly what she did in Game 2, going 5-for-5 with 4 singles and a double. She finished with a pair of RBIs and scored 4 times, providing enough of an offensive punch to get the Floss past the Athletics and tie the series. After the game, she collapsed in right field, winded from having gone full speed the whole game but satisfied with the result.

Game 3: Junior Athletics at Montana Floss

With the series now tied, the Montana Floss were hoping to build on their momentum and take the series lead. However, it was the Athletics defense that came through in this game. They were absolutely stifling, holding the Floss to 4 runs on 8 hits–a poor offensive performance that even Brad Radke’s perfect game couldn’t save. The Athletics offense didn’t have to do that much to win, and a 12-2 final score was more than enough for them to blow away the Floss. This gave the Athletics a 2-1 series lead and meant that the Montana Floss were one loss away from losing the World Series.

Junior Athletics 10, Montana Floss 4

Player of the game: You couldn’t ask for a much better day than the one Sally Dobbs had. While the Athletics were solid offensively, she was more than solid, going 4-for-4 with 3 singles and a home run. She finished with 4 RBIs, scored every time she got up to bat, and topped it off with a stolen base. She may have won 2 World Series already, but she definitely wants to win a third.

Game 4: Montana Floss at Junior Athletics

In what could very well be the deciding game, the Junior Athletics opened things up with a bang, producing an 11-run 1st inning and setting themselves up very well for the rest of the game. The next four innings paled in comparison–they only scored 3 more runs for a final prorated score of 16-0–but it was easily their best performance of the series so far and would’ve been enough to beat the Floss most days. This was not one of those days, however, as the Athletics AI shuffled their defensive setup in order to have Ray Tran pitch Game 4. This led to holes all over the field, and that combined with some strong hits from the Montana Floss meant that they rampaged to 29 runs while shutting out the Athletics again. It was the second blowout of the series, but this time the winners were the Montana Floss, who tied the series at 2 and moved things to a decisive and final Game 5.

Montana Floss 29, Junior Athletics 16

Player of the game: Everybody was racking up hits for the Montana Floss in this game, but Emily Lewbel was doing a bit more than most, as she went 5-for-6 with a single, a double, a triple, and a pair of home runs. She finished with 10 RBIs and scored 4 times herself, and topped her day off with a stolen base. She was a vital part of the Floss’s offense, and admitted after the game that she was just hopeful she could do as well in Game 5.

Game 5: Junior Athletics at Montana Floss

With everything on the line, both teams would need to give it their all in this one. This time, with the Athletics AI set up normally, the Montana Floss didn’t have another overwhelming performance, but it was solid enough, as they put together 12 runs on 18 hits for a 12-0 home win that was bolstered by Brad Radke’s third perfect game of the series and a final prorated run differential of 14. This wasn’t enough to keep up with the Athletics, however, as the Junior Athletics started out strongly by putting up 10 runs in their first three innings (helped by Dawn Cozart hitting a pair of homers in those innings) and then pouring it on when Vic Soufle came on the mound from catcher; this opened up third base for steals, and the Athletics finished with a final score of 21-0. This meant the Junior Athletics won the game 21-14, and finished the season as champions!

Junior Athletics 21, Montana Floss 14

Player of the game: Dawn Cozart was on fire in this one! She may have only gone 3-for-5, but those 3 were all homers. She finished with 10 RBIs, only three of which she scored herself, and was a huge part of the Athletics’ initial offensive push that got Vic Soufle on the mound and allowed the Athletics to take control. After the game (and the series) she stated that she was just glad not to have been attacked by any bees, bears, bees the size of bears, or Poles (expatriated or otherwise) for her comments about bears.

Junior Athletics win the World Series 3-2

World Series MVP: Sally Dobbs is known for upping her game in the postseason, and that’s exactly what she did here. Throughout the playoffs, she was the strongest batter on the Junior Athletics, posting a .729 batting average (2nd on the Athletics), a 1.48 slugging percentage (led team), and hit the most home runs on the team, with 7 in total (in the regular season she had 5). As implausible as it may seem, she was actually even better in the World Series, going 17-for-21 (batting average of 0.810) with 5 home runs and a slugging percentage of 1.67. She was a big contributor to the Athletics offense and a huge part of why they won it all, which is why I’m naming her the World Series MVP.

Postseason MVP: When a defensive-oriented team wins it all, who else should get the most credit besides their pitcher? Todd Xavier spent almost all season on the mound, and spent about as much time up there in the postseason. As the Junior Athletics’ starting pitcher, he led them to a 7-2 record and a World Series championship, and along the way was utterly dominant on the mound, only allowing 6 runs in total, posting an ERA of 0.80, only allowing 44 hits and throwing 63 strikeouts as he sent batter after batter back to the dugout. In the end, his amazing pitching performances were enough to move the Athletics through all three rounds, fell their opponents, and give them the ultimate prize: the championship.

THE JUNIOR ATHLETICS ARE YOUR BBL SEASON 7 CHAMPIONS!

AWARD WINNERS

There are three awards given out right before the World Series starts. These awards are The Jocinda for the most impactful hitter on the player side, the Ace Wilson for the best pitcher on the player side, and the Goldie Glove for the most impactful defensive player on the AI side (in a positive way, of course).

THE JOCINDA
Winner: Jay Green, CF, Arizona Diamondbacks (Indoor Conference)

This was a season where records were set on both sides of the ball, usually from one player. When it came to batting, this player was Jay Green, who had an unbelievable season for the Arizona Diamondbacks. Jay Green set (and occasionally shattered) several records, including batting average (0.934; the previous record was 0.920), slugging percentage (2.934; the previous record was 2.344), and home runs (37; the previous record was 26). Along the way, he avoided ever leaving the plate without making contact, finishing the season with no strikeouts and no walks and only being called out 4 times (he went 57-for-61 over the course of the season). The cherry on top might just be his ability to avoid hitting singles; he only had 10 singles on the season, with the other 10 hits being doubles (9) or triples (1). Not only that, but he finished with 9 stolen bases, which suggests that even if he didn’t hit the ball out he’d still end up in scoring position somehow–and since he scored 51 times, that means that there were only ten instances when he came up to bat and didn’t score all season. There’s no such thing as automatic–even when it comes to Mr. Clanky–but this season, Jay Green was the closest you can get. This performance was unprecedented, and it’s highly unlikely that we’ll see anything like it again. But for 14 games, all the stars aligned perfectly, and Jay Green became the de facto MVP.

Balloting:
1.: Jay Green, CF, Arizona Diamondbacks (11 votes, 11 #1 votes)
2.: Kay O’Toole, RF, Purple Sox (8 votes)
3.: Leah Wayne, SS, Los Angeles Dodgers (6 votes)
4.: Sammy Sosa, RF, Red Phillies (3 votes, 1 #1 vote)
T-5.: Pablo Sanchez, SS, Green Monsters (1 vote, 1 #1 vote)
T-5.: Chico Pappas, C, Wizard Wombats (2 votes)
T-7.: Courtney Valentino, CF, Junior Athletics (1 vote)
T-7.: Uma Morris, 2B, Texas Rangers (1 vote)
T-9.: Julie Dunkel, P, Minnesota Twins (1 vote)
T-9.: Zena Fromme, 3B, Humongous Hornets (1 vote)
T-9.: Maria Luna, LF, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angels Association (1 vote)
T-9.: Cheryl Reynolds, C, Baltimore Orioles (1 vote)
T-9.: Marilyn McDonnell, SS, Purple Sox (1 vote)

ACE WILSON
Winner: Brad Radke, Montana Floss (Backyard Conference)

Speaking of record-setting performances, there was one of those on the pitching side this season, and as with the offensive side it was mostly from a single player (although the Los Angeles Dodgers rotated through almost their entire team as they had their own fantastic pitching season). This player? Brad Radke of the Montana Floss, who like Jay Green set several records (although he didn’t really shatter any of them). The only individual record he set was for strikeouts, with 130 (previous record: 127), but he was the main pitcher on the Montana Floss, who set several team records for pitching. In addition to the team setting the record for strikeouts in tandem with the Los Angeles Dodgers of this season with 135, they also set records for ERA with a team ERA of 0.29 (Radke’s ERA was 0.30, and the next closest team was the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association from this season, who had an ERA of 0.31 and would’ve tied the record were it not for a forfeit that cost them 6 innings of pitching; the earlier next closest were the Humongous Melonheads of Season 2, with an ERA of 0.34) and for hits allowed with 30 (previous record: 33, by the Baltimore Bombers in Season 6). Overall, it was one of the most (if not the most) dominating pitching performances the league has ever seen, and as a result Brad Radke was an almost unanimous choice for Ace Wilson

Balloting:
1.: Brad Radke, Montana Floss (12 votes, 10 #1 votes)
2.: Randy Johnson, Arizona Diamondbacks (9 votes, 2 #1 votes)
3.: Amanda Hellerman, Little Giants (5 votes)
4.: Tom Glass, New York Yankees (4 votes)
T-5.: Angela Delvecchio, Super-Duper Melonheads (2 votes, 1 #1 vote)
T-5.: Gretchen Hasselhoff, Los Angeles Dodgers (2 votes)
T-7.: Shohei Ohtani, Milwaukee Braves (2 votes)
T-7.: Nancy Chin, Baltimore Bombers (1 vote)

GOLDIE GLOVE
Winner: Star Moonbeam, 1B, Wizard Wombats (Backyard Conference)

The Wizard Wombats were supposed to have the weakest defense in the Backyard Conference. Supposed is the operative word, though, as despite their focus on offense and them having one of the only weak catchers in the conference, their defense was decidedly average, finishing as the 5th-ranked defense–not great, but nowhere near the sieve it was agreed to be before the season started. A big part of their performance? Star Moonbeam, who turned into an absolute terror at first base, darting off the bag to snatch up any grounders to the right side and getting back before most batters could make it to first. Along with making hitting grounders to the right side of the field unenticing, her speed guaranteed that she was always on the bag to receive throws from everybody else, which helped ensure that passed balls weren’t a problem at first. Although there were other players who ended up causing unexpected trouble for opposing offenses (Tony Delvecchio was surprisingly acrobatic at first base, and Ricky Johnson’s height and speed in left field posed an occasional problem and allowed him to rob homers once in a blue moon), Star Moonbeam was easily the most consistently troublesome defensive obstacle for other teams to overcome, and this award is well-deserved.

Balloting:
1.: Star Moonbeam, 1B, Wizard Wombats (7 votes, 4 #1 votes)
T-2.: Tony Delvecchio, 1B, Super-Duper Melonheads (3 votes, 2 #1 votes)
T-2.: Ricky Johnson, LF, Montana Floss (5 votes, 1 #1 vote)
4.: Pete Wheeler, 3B, Texas Rangers (3 votes, 1 #1 vote)
T-5.: Shohei Ohtani, P, Milwaukee Braves (2 votes)
T-5.: Derek Jeter, SS, Boston Reds (2 votes)
T-7.: Todd Xavier, P, Junior Athletics (1 vote, 1 #1 vote)
T-7.: Henri Deschenes, CF, Milwaukee Braves (1 vote, 1 #1 vote)
T-7.: Johnny Omar, 3B, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association (1 vote, 1 #1 vote)
T-7.: Kathy Wolf, RF, Montana Floss (1 vote, 1 #1 vote)
T-7.: Susan Gore, C, Boston Cubs (1 vote, 1 #1 vote)
T-7.: Alex Rodriguez, SS, Boston Cubs (2 votes)
T-13.: Sarah Maxwell, C, Humongous Hornets (1 vote)
T-13.: Veronica Lee, CF, Texas Rangers (1 vote)
T-13.: Fred Benson, LF, Baltimore Bombers (1 vote)
T-16.: Wendy Parsons, C, Junior Athletics (1 vote)
T-16.: Pamela Kirkos, C, Arizona Diamondbacks (1 vote)
T-16.: Ezra Travolta, SS, Arizona Diamondbacks (1 vote)
T-16.: Marky Dubois, P, Baltimore Orioles (1 vote)
T-16.: Scotty Roth, C, Purple Sox (1 vote)
T-16.: Esmarelda Heimann, C, Red Phillies (1 vote)

ODE TO THE CHAMPIONS

The Junior Athletics have done it. They’ve managed to win the championship as an upstart Frontyard team with a rookie coach. They fought their way through a tough season where nobody expected them to be particularly great to become the eventual champions. So how’d they do it?

Well, as with all teams, their story starts with the draft. In order to build the best team he could, head coach and GM MelloMathTeacher made contact with several long-term vets to get their advice on whom to draft and what to do with them. He combined this with extensive testing to figure out his AI’s lineup, and when the draft was over, expressed confidence that he had drafted a good team.

What he wasn’t confident in was how well they’d perform under him. Before the season started, he played several practice matches against numerous Frontyard teams, and for him the results were routinely underwhelming. The Junior Athletics suffered several losses to the AI in the opening exhibitions, struggled to score, and generally left those following the team with the sense that while their AI might cause some opponents to struggle, Mello’s coaching would leave much to be desired.

To some extent, this assumption was validated in their first game–a tie where both teams won 2-0 and where the Athletics were only given the win because they were the home team and as such had a home bonus (in this case, .4 runs). While their offense came alive in their next game (a 12-1 road win against the Florida Marlins), in game three their offense once again put up a mediocre performance, scoring 6 at home against the Humongous Hornets. At this point, however, the Junior Athletics were 3-0, and it looked like they might just be contenders–especially since their AI defense had quietly only given up 6 runs in their first three games.

Defense couldn’t carry them forever, though, and the worries MelloMathTeacher had about his preseason performance reared their head again, as an extra-innings bout with the Minnesota Twins (where the Athletics suffered plenty of bad luck) led to the team’s first loss to the AI (and their first loss overall as the Twins won their half 3-0). They hoped to get back on the winning track against the Los Angeles Dodgers, but struggled to score once again, only producing 5 runs on the road and losing the game when AI Leah Wayne hit a solo shot that gave the Athletics a final score of 5-1 and a run differential of 4–which tied with the home team Dodgers (who won their game 4-0) and gave Los Angeles the win.

Now 3-2, the Athletics looked to be fading as their AI defense got figured out. But Week 6 proved to be an inflection point for the team. Not only did their AI get its first win (defeating the Tampa Bay Devil Rays 2-0) but their offense caught fire, scoring 12 runs at home as the intensive practice they put in finally started to pay dividends in an actual game. The Athletics then built off of their momentum in Week 7, defeating the New York Yankees 17-6 (in a game heavily aided by the shallow walls of Tin Can Alley) and entering the All-Star Break as the third-best team in their conference at 5-2 (behind the 6-1 Minnesota Twins and 5-2 Los Angeles Dodgers).

After the All-Star Break, the Athletics continued to do well offensively, defeating the Twins 12-6 at Dirt Yards (in a game that would’ve seen them win by more had their defense not melted down in the 6th) and losing to the Dodgers 21-20 at home (in a game where they only lost because AI Leah Wayne hit a home run). At this point, the Athletics were 6-3 and still in third, but they’d finally figured out their offense and their defense had continued to stay strong. This deadly combination worked to their benefit, and they proceeded to win the last five games of the season and vaulted into the playoffs as the top seed from the Frontyard Conference.

Despite having a full head of steam and the top seed under their belt, the Athletics were heavy underdogs in their opening playoff matchup against the Boston Cubs. The Boston Cubs were another defensively-oriented team, with the strongest defense in the Backyard Conference and a 1.5 time champion at their helm. It was expected that the Cubs would be able to take down the Athletics with relative ease, and that the Athletics would be lucky to steal even one game of the three-game series.

The Athletics had kept practicing, however, and had readied themselves to play on the Cubs home field of Cement Gardens as well as their own home of Dubois Diamond. This practice paid off with two results on the same day: the first one, a 9-6 win where both teams scored more runs than would be expected but also gave up quite a few runs, and the second one a 7-7 game at Dubois Diamond where the Athletics won due to the home bonus. Just like that, the Athletics had swept the Cubs and moved on to the second round of the playoffs.

Their opponents in the second round were the Texas Rangers of the Indoor Conference, and this time the Athletics were favored–their AI had stood strong against the Cubs, and their offense had continued to contribute. In Game 1, their AI gave up double-digit runs for only the second time, but their offense took advantage of an error-filled performance by the Rangers AI to put up 22 runs and defeat the Rangers 21-14 in Game 1. Game 2 wasn’t even close, as the Rangers AI somehow made even more errors (14 in total), and the Athletics AI shut down the Rangers offense. The Athletics won 21-5, and just like that a team that had lost to the AI multiple times in preseason was now in the World Series.

Their final opponents were the arms-and-speed based Montana Floss. The Floss were another defense-focused team, but they boasted a weaker defense than the Boston Cubs coupled with a surprisingly stronger offense (based largely on their coach’s predilection for the foul ball). Game 1 saw the Athletics AI once again stand tall, allowing only 7 runs to the Floss, while their offense produced again to give the Athletics a 13-8 win and the series lead. They lost it in the next game, however, as their 10-game winning streak was brought to an end in a very close 13-12 loss. Game 3 saw them return to their winning ways as their AI held the Floss to 4 runs and they won 12-2, but a reshuffling of their AI defense due to nerfs in Game 4 tied the series again when both teams had their best offensive performances so far (the Floss won 29-16). This brought the series to a decisive game 5, and as they’d done so many times this season, the Athletics rose to the occasion, winning the final game 21-14 and becoming the champions.

It was a long road, but the Athletics did the best they possibly could. They played 23 (official) games, won 18 of them, and got better throughout the season. It was an impressive effort by MelloMathTeacher, and it shows the power analysis can have when utilized properly. Hats off to Mello, Fello, and the entire Junior Athletics team: they deserve this win.

What they said: “It was a really wild and unexpected ride that I’m glad that I got to experience once, and don’t have any burning desire to do again. It took hours upon hours of grinding, practice, and study, and I needed every last one of them to pull it off, to the point where it was really eating up time I probably would have been better off spending with more relaxing activities. So that’s how I’ll spend future seasons after I take my break on the next one. The series win was, to be quite honest, a miracle. My A’s always seemed to be in favorable matchups; never facing any hyper-offensive teams that can hit over our incredibly strong defense with consistency. I do not think that we are necessarily the best team, or me necessarily the best coach. But we beat the teams in front of us and left no doubt. For that, I’m incredibly satisfied. I finished the season with prideful tears in my eyes. I was far too busy to write in my season journal due to real life work, but I think my players’ personalities shone through beautifully in the discord and the quotes. I’ll miss them a ton. I’m so glad they could experience this storybook of an ending. I’ll treasure them forever no matter who I play with in the future. Thanks for a spectacular season, Junior Athletics. You’re the best team I could have hoped to play with.“

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“This playoffs is [censored] up.” – Vissery, providing an accurate assessment of the playoffs

“I love gingers…but that’s Jibbo’s thing.” – Natetastic, Milwaukee Braves head coach, on personal preferences

“I know that spirit! But I also don’t think I’m that adventurous…” – Eauxps I. Fourgott, Super-Duper Melonheads head coach, on gingers

“In my heart I know I can win this. In my guts I know I’m nuts.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, invoking Lyndon Baines

“Inherently I would be sad for whoever lost because I like both Mello and JBA.” – Vissery, on the World Series

“Liking JBA is what’s referred to as a ‘Vissery decision.'” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on Vissery’s poor decision-making abilities

“What the [censored] is a Vissery decision? Are you saying my opinions are bad?” – Vissery, taking umbrage

“I’m gonna drop the highest-scoring player on my fantasy football team for someone off the waiver wire! That’ll improve my chances for sure!” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, providing an example of a Vissery decision

“This might be the lowest scoring World Series in BBL history.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, predicting a defensive struggle

“The dream’s still alive. The World Series could be won by a team with a losing record.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, being hopeful

“Oh my god he’s unstoppable.” – KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS, Boston Cubs head coach, on the Junior Athletics winning Game 1

“Honestly this whole postseason is just vindicating to see everyone struggling with the team that [censored] me off. I honestly can’t believe I scored more against the A’s than the Giants.” – Vissery, on the Junior Athletics’ postseason run

“I don’t understand BBL anymore.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, continuing to struggle with the reality that a Frontyard team could win it all

“The most perfectly well-rounded team technically is the one that’s doing the best.” – Vissery, explaining the BBL to crazyei8hts

“Mello has a strong defense and a treacherous [censored] infield.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on struggling against the Junior Athletics

“I guess I just got better at the game. I think it might have been facing the Cubs that got me to reach this realization.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on his team’s consistent improvement

“I want the Floss to lose.” – Vissery, on his rooting interest in the World Series

“What if I drafted not just one Albert Pujols, but two Albert Pujolses?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, providing an example of a Vissery decision

“You could just draft a gimmick team and steal all the first basemen or something to [censored] over everyone else who wants one.” – Vissery, on draft strategy

“Are you still upset by Jarod stealing Pujols in the first round?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on Vissery’s draft strategies

“Quentin Driver has been drafted in the first round.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on draft strategy

“I own this server.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, on running the server

“I born this server.” – Yurya, Green Monsters head coach, on being the commissioner

“What does that mean?” – Vissery, habitually confused

“It means there’s placenta all over his computer.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, being disgusting

“I entered this season wanting to learn as much as I could, and I have indeed learned an absolute ton. And when it carried me this far, I really want to finish the job. I’ve got practically no interest in repeating or spending more hours studying and labbing for high-pressure situations like this.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on not wanting to return for Season 8 after a hard-fought Season 7

“Doubleheaders are cool.” – Vissery, on MelloMathTeacher planning to premiere Game 2 and Game 3 on the same night

“Are you guys talking about Harry Potter?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, quoting Vissery

“Do you have a bunch of random things I’ve said saved on your computer?” – Vissery, on being quoted by JorgesBankAccount

“He does have to quote hunt for his recaps.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on JorgesBankAccount having a bunch of random things Vissery’s said saved up

“Nobody believes in me.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, quoting Vissery

“I don’t even remember what this is from. It could be literally anything.” – Vissery, on being quoted by JorgesBankAccount

“I don’t even think.” –  JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, quoting Vissery

“I don’t even remember.” – Vissery, quoting Vissery

“I don’t even.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, quoting Vissery quoting Vissery

“Without our boosts it’s gonna look booty.” – Aesnop, Purple Sox head coach

“Is this a 2-0 series lead?” – Yurya, Green Monsters head coach, on Game 2

“Yeah. He wins on the home bonus.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on Game 2

“What was your score?” – Vissery, looking for spoilers

“12-0.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, being wrong as usual

“Is it possible we get a winner tonight?” – SilverBullet102, Little Giants head coach, looking ahead to Game 3

“Wait you scored 13.” – Vissery, on JorgesBankAccount being an idiot

“I thought I had 12! I had 12! I demand a recount!” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on being surprised with a win

“Interesting series.” – Vissery, on the World Series being tied

“Wait, no I [censored] don’t. This game was conducted fairly and legally, and anyone who says otherwise is trying to rile up tension in the community.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on wanting to keep the win

“I hate surprises. Anticipation sucks objectively. Nobody can argue with me.” – Vissery, on being predictable

“Wait so we’re 1-1 in the series?” – jlund, former Baltimore Bombers head coach, summing up the situation

“By a hair, yes.” – Eauxps I. Fourgott, Super-Duper Melonheads head coach, confirming jlund’s suspicions

“So glad I’m not bald.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on stealing a win

“4 runs. Game was almost over after 1 inning.” – Vissery, on Game 3

“I know the feeling JBA. Defense too good over there.” – Jyknight, Texas Rangers head coach, on the Montana Floss’s underwhelming Game 3 performance

“I tried so far! And got so hard! And in the end, will it even matter?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, misquoting Linkin Park

“I wonder if this is the lowest scoring series in BBL history.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on the (comparatively) low scores produced by both teams

“Game 5 of Season 3 might score more than this entire series.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, on history

“Paste isn’t real.” – Vissery, providing anti-Petrovich propaganda

“Ray has not seemed like the massive weakness everyone touts him as.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on Ray Tran’s fielding abilities

“That tree hugger sure knows how to handle the…uh, I think at this point the less said the better.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, trying not to get in trouble with a comment about Annie Frazier

“Bat. That’s how you get out of it.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, helping MelloMathTeacher out

“Sure. She knows how to handle the bat.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, accepting assistance

“And then you ruin it by saying she loves to send balls flying.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, ruining it

“But the balls are made of cow hide! That poor little cow…” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, trying to save it

“Sometimes when you’re no longer able to actually think is when things make the most sense.” – Vissery, on mental function

“I know that having 3 first round picks and a bunch of dregs has never worked out for anybody, but uh…anybody wanna see me try?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, providing an example of a Vissery decision

“Home runs don’t do anything for me anymore anyway I’m all about the hits that barely go by the defense.” – Vissery, on current offensive preferences

“Give your team to hitace.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on the obvious solution

“That’s where the real dopamine is.” – Vissery, on dopamine

“Hitace or barely going by the defense?” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, asking the real questions

“I guess we’ll find out if I can start slapping that pig this weekend.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on hoping to pull off the upset

“I think you would probably get arrested if you did anything like that during the game.” – Vissery, on slapping pigs

“I haven’t eaten or gone to the bathroom since before we started…please let it be over.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on wanting a quick end to the World Series

“To quote JBA THE ATHLETICS WON!” – Yurya, Green Monsters head coach, mocking JorgesBankAccount’s penchant for paranoia and pessimism

“Wait what was Butch doing in right?!?!?” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, trying to understand why his AI defense got shuffled so much in Game 4

“Half the defense was out of position. It…created several holes.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on the shuffling of the Junior Athletics AI defense

“THAT’S the JBA I know!” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, happy that a Backyard Conference team defeated a Frontyard Conference team for only the second time this postseason

“Isn’t everyone rooting for the Athletics?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on fandom

“I am.” – hitace, Los Angeles Dodgers head coach, on wanting the Junior Athletics to win

“I’m rooting for the As because I think that the circumstance of the entire other side of bracket was a total dumpster fire and winning off of that has me feeling indifferent even if it’s still deserved since you have to actually play well anyway in the World Series.” ­– Vissery, on rooting for the Junior Athletics

“I’m rooting for you! Backyard League represent!” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, hoping that the so-called ‘best conference’ can salvage some semblance of dignity

“I feel bad for whoever loses ’cause I know someone’s gonna be really sad.” – Vissery, on Game 5

“Is that someone you?” – jlund, former Baltimore Bombers head coach, on sorrow

“It’s going to be me.” – Jyknight, Texas Rangers head coach, on sorrow

“So right now we’re 2-2 in the series can’t wait to see takes home the prize!” – SilverBullet102, Little Giants head coach, on anticipating Game 5

“I can’t believe the entire server will close after the World Series is over.” – Vissery, on the imminent shutdown of the league

“Wait what?” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on being out of the loop

“It was nice knowing everyone.” – Yurya, Green Monsters head coach and commissioner, saying goodbye

“It’s been fun, but gotta quit while you’re ahead.” – jlund, former Baltimore Bombers head coach, echoing the prevailing sentiment

“Marky probably has a goat. Does that count?” – Vissery, on Marky’s farm animals

“Didn’t Season 6 go to a 5th game too?” – Natetastic, Milwaukee Braves head coach, on full-length World Series

“JBA knows this feeling too well.” – Aesnop, Purple Sox head coach, on JorgesBankAccount being in a 5-game World Series for the second season in a row

“I’m all about that drama. Why do you think I write the recaps?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on dramatic endings

“In my own sheets.” – Vissery, on…who even knows at this point

“That literally makes no sense.” – KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS, on Vissery’s sheets

“Who says rookies can’t win?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on the Junior Athletics winning the World Series

“I give massive credit to all the veterans who have helped me with drafting and putting together detailed position rankings that didn’t exist yet just to ensure my plans were solid.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, giving credit to everyone who help him craft his team

“We’ve done it! Our hard work finally paid off!” – Wendy Parsons, Junior Athletics

“Sally puts her place in BBL history as the first individual player to get 3 championship titles, while the Athletics are the second team to win 2 championship titles.” –  Vissery, on history

“This team has more maturity and discipline than I had ever seen. It’s truly admirable.” – Sally Dobbs, Junior Athletics

“Maturity and discipline? Nah. Kick up the music!” – Wendy Parsons, Junior Athletics, on partying partying yeah

“WOMP BA DO NI MA, NO BOMP BOMP BOMP!” – Ray Tran, Junior Athletics, still unable to correctly sing the opening line to Tutti Frutti

“I beat Mello and the As in the preseason, so clearly the Melonheads are the true champions here.” – Eauxps I. Fourgott, Super-Duper Melonheads head coach, hoping for playoff glory

“I beat Mello and the As in the postseason.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, not having any of it

“We’ve achieved what we set out to do. It’s time to finally relax.” – Todd Xavier, Junior Athletics starting pitcher, on winning the World Series

“I’m not here without Todd.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on Todd Xavier’s consistently great performances

“This all happened because aesnop subbed for the Marlins that one time.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, on the final outcome of the season

“Does this mean that hitace may have gotten Mello the championship? The Dodgers were the only team to play the Athletics and not lose to them.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on the Dodgers forfeiting in the playoffs

“Dodgers would have won the World Series.” – aesnop, Purple Sox head coach, on what could have been

“Hitace literally murdered you and then quit. That’s the gigachad move.” – Vissery, to aesnop, on the Purple Sox getting double-50’d in the first round of the playoffs

“We’re the best, guys. You’re the best. What a wild ride.” – Wendy Parsons, Junior Athletics

“This definitely has the most random pinned messages of any season chat.” – Eauxps I. Fourgott, Super-Duper Melonheads head coach, on the unusual statements that were emphasized this season

“I’m just…stunned. I can’t believe we did this.” – Butch Sherrod, Junior Athletics, on winning the World Series

“I hate new coaches.” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, on new coaches

“…because they beat you?” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, guessing why

“Because people like YOU waddle in and [censored] up and win everything while I sit in a dark corner and cry about my backyard baseball skills!” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, on depression

“I mean you did beat the Dodgers Marco.” – Vissery, trying to comfort Marco by bringing up the highlight of the Yankees’ 7-7 season

“I win everything.” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, playing two degrees of separation to try and claim the championship trophy

“I could not imagine a more fun, more rewarding season with a better crew of kids. I’m so proud of you all. It’ll be hard to see you guys go to a bunch of different teams, but that’s how it works. But know that we’ll forever be united in our hearts. We’ll see each other again and have plenty of fun. But for now, it’s time we went our own paths. Enjoy yourselves.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, bidding his team farewell

“Frontyard proves if you can dream it you can do it.” – SilverBullet102, Little Giants head coach, on the champions

“Thanks for the season.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach and World Series champion, on Season 7

“ROBBED! TOM GLASS ROBBED!” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, upset about the Ace Wilson voting results

“More like broken glass.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, mocking Tom Glass

“TOM GLASS WENT 4TH? WHAT YHR HRCK! This is robbery.” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, even more upset about the Ace Wilson voting results

“…you didn’t vote for him as your first place choice, did you, Marco.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, pointing out the obvious

“I didn’t vote at all!” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, spitting on democracy

“MVP and Ace voting were kinda snoozeville. They were just so dominant.” – Vissery, on the obvious choices for those two awards

“It wouldn’t have been if Tom Glass somehow won it. It’s your own fault!” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, shifting the blame for Tom Glass’s fourth place finish in the Ace Wilson voting

“Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy! I’m so honored!” – Courtney Valentino, Junior Athletics, on getting a vote for MVP

“Four of the seven MVP winners in BBL history have had their names start with a J.” – Vissery, on history

“Life’s not fair Jay, life’s not fair.” – Mavfatha, Baltimore Orioles head coach, on Jay Green winning The Jocinda

“I think I’ll trade with Aesnop!” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on drafting

“I love you all! Bye, everyone!” – Courtney Valentino, Junior Athletics, closing the book on Season 7