The last week of the season has happened and–wait, what? Playoffs aren’t starting yet? Play-ins due to ties? There’s still a bunch of chaos? We don’t have a final eight? Aw, geez…

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK

Junior Brewers vs. Montana Floss

This match was one where everything was on the line. Both teams were 5-8, and yet somehow­–improbably–still in the playoff hunt. Since the Green Monsters sat at 6-7, if they lost it was still possible for either of these teams to make the playoffs, either by beating them on tiebreakers or by beating them in a play-in game (depending on external factors as well as their record against the Monsters.

This was, of course, a rematch. The first time these two teams met, the Junior Brewers defeated the Montana Floss, 18-16 in a very close game (one of the few close games the Brewers won this season). That time, the Brewers were at home at Scrapco Field; this time, the host was the Montana Floss at Sandy Flats. There were a lot of similarities between these two teams, however; both had posted 2-4 records since the All-Star Break, both had kept most games close, and both had strong defenses, with the Brewers having the #2 defense in the Backyard Conference with 195 runs allowed and the Floss the #3 defense with 207 runs allowed. There were differences, however; while the Brewers had a positive overall run differential of +23, the Floss were in the red with a run differential of -6. While the Brewers were considered one of the more fearful teams in the conference by several of their prognosticators and opponents, the Floss appeared to be a team that could get close to opponents but only occasionally surpass them.

Still, both teams sat at 5-8, and a playoff spot was on the line in this one. That is, of course, as long as the Green Monsters lost to the Boston Cubs.

Francis Blewer started things off well, as she smacked a line drive down the left field line and off the log for a home run. She was followed by PJ Shareef, who grounded out to the pitcher, and Parker Collum, who knocked one deep into left field and over the log that was ruled a ground-rule double. Brenda Markart then came to the plate and hit another pitch into left field, this one for a single when left fielder Ricky Johnson got to the ball quickly and threw it to the shortstop to hold runners at the corners. Brenda stole second, and then with two runners in scoring position Vincent Sweet proceeded to hit a dribbler a few feet in front of home plate. The throw to first was dropped, however, and in the ensuing scramble for the ball home plate was left uncovered, allowing Parker Collum to score and Brenda Markart to make a try for third that turned into another run when Emily Lewbell’s frentic throw to an uncovered home plate went out of play, putting the Brewers up 3-0 with one out and a runner on second. Carlos Delgado then came up and hit a ball into shallow left field, but Ricky quickly got to it and threw it in, keeping Vincent from making a try for third. Artie Pimbleton then popped out to right field, and the inning ended when Nomar Garciaparra hit a fly ball to left field that was caught by Ricky Johnson.

The Floss’s response started with back-to-back infield singles from Kathy Wolf and Tina Herrara. Then, when Vic Soufle hit another soft grounder, the catcher chose to throw to second base on a fielder’s choice. The throw was dropped, however, and Kathy Wolf took off for home, making it easily to cut the Brewers lead to two. Jeff Bagwell then came up with two on and no outs, and proceeded to hit a pitch into shallow center, loading the bases for Ricky Johnson. After fouling off several pitches, he hit a ball that landed between the first baseman and the second baseman. It was picked up by first baseman Carlos Delgado, and after a bit of dithering he chose to run to first to make the fielder’s choice. This meant another run scored, but it at least got the Brewers their first out with Brad Radke heading to the plate. The Floss’s pitcher managed to work a full count, but then hit a grounder directly to Brewers’ shortstop Brenda Markart, who flung it to first for the second out. This brought one of the Floss’s only two power hitters to the plate in the form of Emily Lewbell, who looked at two pitches before hitting the third into the right-side power alley. Everyone advanced a base on this hit, and when the throw by the second baseman was flubbed Jeff Bagwell headed for home and made it on a close play where the catcher dropped the fast throw from the shortstop. This game the Floss a 4-3 lead with Jody Palmer heading to the plate, but they weren’t able to increase it as she hit a weak dribbler in front of the plate, allowing the catcher to make the throw to second to easily get the slow Emily Lewbell out.

This brought Tracy Hoban up to bat for the Brewers, and she started things off with a liner into left. This brought up the top of the order, and Francis Blewer hit a grounder down the left field line that turned into a fielder’s choice where Tracy was thrown out at second. Francis stole second, and PJ Shareef hit an infield single, bringing up Parker Collum, who hit the ball into Sandy Flats cavernous center field. The ball stayed inside the park, but it took too long for centerfielder Jody Palmer to get to the ball and throw it in, allowing three runs to score on an inside-the-park home run that gave the Brewers a 6-4 lead with one out in the top of the second. The Floss changed pitchers at this point, bringing in right fielder Kathy Wolf, and Brenda Markart hit a single to right field. She got greedy when Brad Radke initially flubbed the throw, however, and was caught in a pickle between first and second which ended with her being tagged out attempting to return to first. This brought up Vincent Sweet with two outs and nobody on, and he popped out to the pitcher. She dropped it, but it didn’t matter, as shortstop Tina Herrara picked up the ball and threw it to first before he could get there for the third out.

The bottom of the second brought the opportunity for the Floss to reclaim the lead and a new pitcher for the Brewers, as they exchanged a tired Nomar Garciaparra for first baseman Carlos Delgado. His introduction was not that great, as while Linda Potter hit an easy grounder to the right side of the infield, Nomar dropped the throw, allowing her to reach first safely. This brought Kathy Wolf to the plate, and although Carlos Delgado got to the ball, he wasn’t able to make the throw to second. With two on and no outs, Tina Herrara fouled off several pitches and eventually worked a walk, loading the bases for Vic Soufle, who hit a short pop-up that dropped in front of the pitcher. Carlos Delgado quickly scooped it up and threw it to home for the first out, but catcher Tracy Hoban got greedy and flung it to third in an attempt to get the double play. The throw went wide, and Kathy Wolf took off for home, scoring the Floss’s fifth run and tying the game at a prorated 6-6. This brought Jeff Bagwell to the plate, and he delivered a ground-rule double that barely splashed into the waterfront in right field. Ricky Johnson loaded the bases with an infield single, and this was followed by a Brad Radke blooper towards third where Vic Soufle got past Tracy Hoban to score when she went for the ball. Tracy did get Jeff Bagwell out at third, but this put the Floss up 8-6 with runners on first and second for Emily Lewbell. She hit a ball directly in front of the second baseman, but he had a hard time getting to it, and shortstop Brenda Markart picked it up and hurled it to first base. Nomar Garciaparra hadn’t arrived at the bag yet, however, and it slammed into a log, staying in play and allowing everyone to advance another base. To make matters worse, when Nomar tried to make the throw to second, he couldn’t even get it halfway there, allowing Brad Radke to try for home and make it when Carlos Delgado was slow to pick up the ball and couldn’t quite get it to the plate. This put the Floss up 10-6, and even though their rally ended there with a Jody Palmer walk and Linda Potter strikeout (which saw the Brewers bring in right fielder Francis Blewer as a reliever), they still took a 4-run lead into the third inning.

The Brewers weren’t dead yet, however, and they started the third inning with a Carlos Delgado home run that got trapped behind the left field logs. They weren’t able to build on this, however, as Artie Pimbleton grounded out, Nomar Garciaparra popped out to first, and Tracy Hoban popped out to the pitcher. This allowed the Floss to take a 10-7 lead into the bottom half of the inning, and they capitalized on it, starting with a Kathy Wolf single and then a hit from Tina Herrara that would’ve been an infield single had the ball not been thrown past Nomar at first again. Instead, Kathy was able to cross home plate to give the Floss a prorated 12-7 lead, although Tina did get thrown out at third base when she tried to stretch the play into a triple. Vic Soufle then grounded out to the catcher, and it looked like the Brewers might escape the inning with minimal damage, as Jeff Bagwell came to the plate with nobody on for the first time. He had his best hit of the day then, smacking one into deep right center that a gassed Carlos Delgado took a while to get to and making it to third base. He would then score when Ricky Johnson hit a ball up the right-field line that Nomar Garciaparra had to go past Ricky to get and subsequently threw past Francis Blewer as she tried to cover first, sending the ball into right field. Brad Radke then hit a short dribbler up the third-base line, and it almost turned into another hit when Nomar flubbed the catch; however, he recovered and stepped on the bag to get the pitcher out, allowing the Brewers to enter the fourth inning down only 6 runs.

For the first time since the start of the game, Francis Blewer was allowed to start things off for the Brewers. She started with another ball off the log in left field, although this time it was a ground-rule double, and advanced to third on a single to center from PJ Shareef. With runners on the corners, Parker Collum came up looking for another three-run homer; instead, he hit a grounder that was thrown past Floss first baseman Emily Lewbell on the relay, allowing a run to score and putting two runners in scoring position for Brenda Markart. Brenda hit the ball into shallow center, and everyone attempted to advance; the strong arms of the Floss meant that the ball was thrown to third, and they could’ve gotten an out there (albeit while allowing a run to score), but instead third baseman Jeff Bagwell threw the ball to home a second too late, putting runners on the corners again and cutting the Brewers deficit to 4. After Brenda stole second, Vincent Sweet popped up to the pitcher. Carlos Delgado then hit a grounder that would have been an out, but jibbodahibbo chose to wave Parker Collum home. This was a poor choice, as Parker was not allowed to retreat under the rules, and instead waddled into an easy tag, leaving the Brewers with runners on first and second, two outs, and Artie Pimbleton at the plate. He delivered, however, smacking a long fly ball that just barely chunked off the log in left field for a three-run homer that cut the Floss’s lead to 13-12!

A Nomar Garciaparra single kept them in business, but at this point the Floss changed pitchers, bringing in Linda Potter from second base, and a grounder from Tracy Hoban ended the inning when she was thrown out at first. This brought the Floss back to the plate guarding a one-run lead, and they started things out with an Emily Lewbell single that came very, very close to being an out due to her poor speed. Naturally, she was a liability on the basepaths, and on the subsequent at-bat she was thrown out at second on a fielder’s choice. This left Jody Palmer on first, however, and Linda Potter advanced her with an infield single where Nomar Garciaparra just barely didn’t have the arm to get the ball to second base. Kathy Wolf then hit a single into shallow right field, and Jody Palmer scored on the relay towards home; Tina Herrara then walked to load the bases, and a run scored when Vic Soufle hit a dribbler between the pitcher and catcher that both of them went for.

The Floss were now up 15-12, with the bases loaded and Jeff Bagwell coming to the plate. Bagwell was 3-for-3 on the day, with each hit gaining another base; he’d hit a single, a double, and a triple, in that order. If trends were to hold, this next hit would be a home run, and he didn’t disappoint, as he worked a full count until he got the pitch he wanted. This one was sent sailing into right field as a high fly ball that landed well in front of an unmoving Carlos Delgado as the second baseman ran to try and catch up with the ball. It was only after the ball landed that Delgado grabbed it, and when the second baseman tried to run back to the infield, Carlos threw it into the back of his head. Naturally, the second baseman fell over, and Carlos went for the loose ball again. When he picked it up, however, he threw it to the second baseman again–despite the fact that the second baseman was deeper in the outfield than he was. Naturally, the second baseman attempted a desperate heave towards the infield, and it didn’t even get close. By this point, two runs had crossed the plate, a third was about to, and Jeff Bagwell was heading to third. As the closest player to the ball, Carlos Delgado went after it, and this time when he picked it up instead of throwing it deeper into the outfield he went to first base with the relay. By the time Nomar got the ball, Jeff Bagwell was halfway down the third base line, and his exhausted arm got the ball nowhere near the plate, allowing Bagwell to score on an error-filled inside-the-ballpark GRAND SLAM.

With proration, this put the Montana Floss up 20-12. Things would get worse for the Brewers from there, as they moved catcher Tracy Hoban to pitcher and put an exhausted (and weak) arm behind the plate. Ricky Johnson proceeded to hit an infield single that he turned into third base with a pair of steals, and scored when Brad Radke hit a bloop single into the outfield. Radke would then steal second, and would end up on third when Emily Lewbell was thrown out at first for the second out. Thankfully for the Brewers it would end there, as Jody Palmer struck out to end the inning.

Now down nine runs, the Brewers would need a miracle to claw their way back into the game. It would not come from Francis Blewer, as she would pop out to the catcher to start the inning, but PJ Shareef would provide the Brewers with some hope as he hit a single to left field. A pop-up to no-mans-land between third base and home plate seemed like it would put two runners on, but Linda Potter got to the ball just in time and made a fantastic throw to second base for the second out. Brenda Markart then hit the ball to right field, but it was scooped up quickly and thrown to second base by Brad Radke before Parker Collum could get there. The throw was dropped, however, and now with two runners on and two outs Vincent Sweet came up to bat. He hit a dribbler in front of the catcher and beat the throw to first to load the bases, giving Carlos Delgado (who had already hit a home run) a chance to be the hero. He did not deliver, however, instead popping out to the catcher to end the inning.

The Floss then took over, looking to extend their lead, and started things off with a single from Linda Potter. This ended in an out when a failed steal of second led to a rundown, but Kathy Wolf got on base with an infield single and subsequently stole third. A dribbler from Tina Herrara put runners on the corners, and after she stole second another dribbler from Vic Soufle loaded the bases for Jeff Bagwell, who laced another drive into the right-side power alley for a 3-run triple. Ricky then hit an infield single and stole second, freeing up first for Brad Radke, who hit a grounder to the left side that turned into a run when Jeff took off for home and Ricky took off for third, both making it easily. Emily then hit a single to score a run and put runners on the corners before stealing second herself, but Jody Palmer and Linda Potter both grounded out to the pitcher to end the inning. Still, this left the Brewers down 27-12 with only three outs to try and stage a comeback.

The Brewers’ final charge started well, with a first-pitch homer from Artie Pimbleton to make the score 27-13. Unfortunately for them, this was followed by a groundout to the pitcher from Nomar Garciaparra. Tracy Hoban got to first on a sharp line drive to centerfield, but a deep fly ball to center provided the second out. Now down to their very last chance, the Brewers sent PJ Shareef to the plate, and he provided a grounder that allowed Tracy to make it to second when pitcher Linda Potter flubbed the throw. Parker Collum then came up and hit a towering fly ball to left center that dropped just inside of the fence line before hopping over for a ground-rule double to make the score 27-14 and put two runners in scoring position for Brenda Markart. She got on base with an infield single, and then with the bases loaded Vincent Sweet provided a fly ball to center that Ricky Johnson dropped when trying to come over and make the play from left field. With the score now 27-15, Carlos Delgado came up to bat, but he would be denied as he hit a fly ball to Jody Palmer for the final out of the game.

Montana Floss 27, Junior Brewers 15

Player of the game: In Week 4 of Season 5, Brewers coach jibbodahibbo made it his personal mission to humiliate Jeff Bagwell. It may have taken more than two and a half seasons, but Bagwell got his revenge in this one, and in convincing fashion no less, as he hit a single, a double, two triples, and an inside-the-ballpark home run–that last one a grand slam where the Brewers made several very, very, very poor decisions on what to do with the ball. For his efforts, he finished with 8 RBIs and scored four times, knocked jibbodahibbo’s team out of the playoffs, got his team a chance at the playoffs, and was named the Backyard Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK!

FRONTYARD CONFERENCE

Minnesota Twins 12, Little Giants -2

Let’s not bury the lede here: Minnesota needed to win to have a shot at making the playoffs. Of course, they needed either the Dodgers or Athletics to lose to force a play-in game, but step one was always going to be grabbing a win. That’s exactly what they did against the overmatched and over-their-head Little Giants, who struggled once again at Dirt Yards, losing to the AI 2-0. All the Twins had to do was just not die, and they did more than required, scoring 10 runs on 13 hits and a walk and shutting out the Giants anemic offense. End result? The Twins forced their way into a play-in game–provided that either the Dodgers or the Athletics (or both) lost.

Player of the game: Once again, Julie Dunkel did it all for Minnesota, going 2-for-4 on offense with a single and a home run to score twice and knock in 2 runs, while on the mound she pitched a 4-hit shutout complete with a massive 11 strikeouts to get named the Frontyard Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK. The Twins will need these types of performances if they do manage to make a play-in game (or, for that matter, the playoffs).

New York Yankees 14, Los Angeles Dodgers 1

Unlike the Twins game, this one was a surprise. Los Angeles struggled mightily against the Yankees and produced their worst game of the season run-wise, as they scored 2 runs on 11 hits and allowed a run defensively in a game filled with pop-ups and stranded runners. (Turns out the Dodgers aren’t so great when they can’t hit it out…that, or they just had a really bad day.) As for New York, they got back to .500 by hitting 17 singles to score 12 runs and shutting down their opponent. What’s this mean for the future? Well, Marco will probably stay on as the New York Yankees head coach, but more notably this means that the Twins and Dodgers will face off against each other in a play-in game for the second seed from the Frontyard Conference and the chance to face off against the Purple Sox. Unless, of course, the Athletics lost as well, in which case Los Angeles would clinch the top seed and a battle against the Boston Cubs.

Player of the game: Who’s that making a late push for the Ace Wilson? Why, it’s none other than New York Yankees pitcher Tom Glass, who faced down 21 batters, allowed five hits, and threw eight strikeouts in just fifty pitches of work. He also went 1-for-3 at the plate with a single and ended up scoring a run. After the game, he thanked Jody Palmer for saving him from a bully earlier in the week.

Junior Athletics 9, Humongous Hornets 5
With the Dodgers and Twins now 10-4, the Junior Athletics had a chance to clinch the best record in the Frontyard Conference and a playoff berth. It was all on the line for them: a win would get them in, and a loss would force them into a play-in game. So what’d they do? They took care of business, with a game that was good enough if not fantastic. The Athletics posted a 9-0 shutout against the Hornets as they turned 18 hits (including 3 home runs) into those runs, while the Hornets ended their season not with a bang but with a whimper, scoring 6 at home off of 16 hits and a walk while allowing two runs defensively. Consequently, the Athletics finish their season with the #1 seed in the Frontyard Conference and an opening playoff matchup against the Boston Cubs, while the Humongous Hornets have now fought back from being 0-6 to start the year to going 4-4 to end it and finishing 4-10.

Player of the game: The Athletics may have struggled a bit against the Hornets defense, but one batter who didn’t struggle was Wendy Parsons. In the final game of the season, the Athletics catcher went 3-for-4 with 3–count ’em, 3–home runs, knocking in 5 RBIs with her blasts. Also, she’s on the shortlist of Goldie Glove nominees!

Florida Marlins 2.6, Tampa Bay Devil Rays 2

Since Tampa Bay was now decisively eliminated from the playoffs, their coach showed up hungover, and it showed up on the field, as while the Devil Rays shut out their competition they were only able to score a pair of runs on the Marlins defense. We have no word on whether the Marlins coach was suffering under the same ailment, but his team did slightly better offensively by using 11 hits to score 3 runs while doing slightly worse defensively and giving up 7 hits and a run. In the end, both teams finished with a run differential of 2; since the Marlins were the home team, they got the proration bonus and the benefit of the doubt, and took home their sixth win of the season to finish 6-8. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays finished 7-7 and tied for fourth place with the New York Yankees.

Player of the game: On a day when nobody did much, Barry Bonds did the most, almost willing the Marlins to a win. He went 2-for-3 with a single and a triple, and although he didn’t finish with any RBIs, he scored twice. These scores proved to be what the Marlins needed, and so he takes home the award.

Playoff Status

The Junior Athletics are in with the best record in the division, the #1 seed, and an opening series with the Boston Cubs. The #2 seed? That’s going to come down to a play-in game between the Los Angeles Dodgers and Minnesota Twins on the neutral site of Parks Department Field #2 (both teams will be at home for this one). The winner gets to play the Purple Sox in the first round of the playoffs, while the loser gets to play in the consolation tournament.

INDOOR CONFERENCE

Super-Duper Melonheads 8, Boston Reds 3

Neither of these teams had strong seasons, and they were both hunting for a final win to close things out and give them a tiny bit of positive momentum for next year. For the Boston Reds, it was once again a story of not enough offense, as they struggled once again, managing only three runs and six hits. This was the reprieve the Melonheads needed, as they put up an above-average performance for them, scoring 7 runs at home off of 14 hits and a walk and throwing a shutout complete with 8 strikeouts. Did this help the Melonheads out of last place? No, they still finished 2-12, and the Reds finished 3-11. It’s probably best for both these teams to just put the season behind them as soon as possible.

Player of the game: You can say what you want about the Super-Duper Melonheads, but they never stopped fighting. Emblematic of this is their pitcher, Angela Delvecchio, who worked her way to a conference-leading 112 strikeouts, 8 of which were contributed in this game as she threw a 5-hit shutout. Also of note is her batting performance, where she went 2-for-3 with a single and a double, scoring once and batting one run in. After the game, when asked her thoughts on the season, she merely requested to never play on the same team as her brother ever again.

Arizona Diamondbacks 24, Seattle Fishes 18

It was the Seattle Fishes last hurrah, and against the best team in the conference they certainly made a good showing as they produced their best score of the season. Their 15-0 home win saw them grab 21 hits and a walk, including 5 home runs, and had them procure a three-hit shutout from starting pitcher Kristen Sullivan and reliever Perry Marx. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite enough for them to keep up with the Diamondbacks, who once again layered on the runs by scoring 24 on 30 hits and pitching a shutout of their own. This means that the Fishes won’t finish at .500, instead ending the season at 6-8 on a two-game losing streak, but also means that the Diamondbacks finish 13-1 with their only loss being a very close game to the Rangers.

Player of the game: Remember how I said I wasn’t going to give Jay Green any more recognition in this space in the regular season this year? Well consider that promise upheld! Randy Johnson was deadly on the mound in this one, going the distance with a 1-hit shutout where he threw 9 strikeouts and made a late push for the Ace Wilson award and got named the Indoor Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK!

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association 30, Texas Rangers 1

It’s been said that Jomar would be a great coach if he could just focus for an entire season (and the postseason too, of course). That was well on display this season, as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association put up the third-best run differential in the league (+154, behind only the Purple Sox [+161] and the Arizona Diamondbacks [+172]). The Angeles once again showcased their occasional dominance in the last game of the season, as they slapped 34 hits and drew 3 walks on their way to scoring 30. Along the way they put Johnny Omar on the mound for a last hurrah, where he threw a shutout with 10 strikeouts (although Mr. Clanky did most of the heavy lifting, throwing 33 of the 60 pitches thrown by the Angels). Meanwhile, the Texas Rangers just bumbled through their final game, laying an egg as they only scored 3 runs on 12 hits and allowing 2 runs to cross the plate defensively. This leaves the Angels out of the playoffs, but does raise the possibility of what might have been if they had been able to win just one more game (or the Rangers had lost one more) and force a play-in game against the Rangers.

Player of the game: Mr. Clanky has an unusual award this week. Usually, when he wins, it’s as the Indoor Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK. This time, however, he was the Indoor Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK, as he strung together two doubles, a triple, and two home runs to create a 5-for-6 game where he scored 4 times and finished with 9 RBIs.

Baltimore Bombers 8.6, Milwaukee Braves 8

The Braves once again put up a good fight on the road, but it wasn’t quite enough, as Baltimore snuck past them to claim their ninth win. For the Braves, it went as many of their away games have gone: strong pitching coupled reasonable hitting. Milwaukee scored 8 runs on a walk and 13 hits, 5 of which were homers, and saw Shohei Ohtani shut down the Bombers AI as he tossed a 4-hit shutout complete with 9 strikeouts. Unfortunately, the Bombers did just a little better, scoring 8 runs as well off of 15 hits. While the Bombers did allow a run, this was more than made up for by home proration, and Milwaukee took another tough loss.

Player of the game: A man, a plan, a pair of bombs; am I talking about a terrorist attack? No, it’s Fred Benson, who went 3-for-3 with a single and a pair of homers for the Bombers. More interesting than that, however, is that he finished with 8 RBIs. That’s right, Fred Benson batted in every single run the Bombers scored this week. Is that overreliance on one player? Maybe, but it works for the Diamondbacks.

Playoff Status

The Arizona Diamondbacks claim the #1 seed and will start the playoffs with a series against the Backyard Conference’s #4 seed. The Texas Rangers claim the #2 seed and will have a series against the Wizard Wombats.

BACKYARD CONFERENCE

Red Phillies 14, Wizard Wombats 12

The Red Phillies playoff hopes were dangling by a thread, but in the final game of the season the Phillies kept those hopes alive. Facing a fading Wombats team, they did just enough to win, scoring 15 runs on 20 hits and a walk while allowing only a single run. Meanwhile, their AI stood up for the first time since the start of the season (aka before it got figured out), allowing only 12 and scoring 2 as the Wombats stumbled their way to a prorated 12-run performance. The Wombats now find themselves permanently locked into the #3 seed, while the Phillies have definitely forced a series of play-in games if the Monsters lose.

Player of the game: With a lot of the Phillies worse games, the bombs have still fallen, but nobody’s been on base when they do, limiting their effectiveness. That’s what happened this week, as the Phillies hit 7 homers but only got 15 runs in total. Perhaps the crown prince of this turn of events was Sammy Sosa, who went 4-for-4 with a single and 3–count ’em, 3–home runs, but only garnered 4 RBIs for his efforts. (To add insult to injury, he didn’t end up scoring on his single.) A great effort deserves recognition, though, and a 3-homer day is definitely a great effort.

Purple Sox 26, Baltimore Orioles 9

As far as playoff positioning went, this game was the least important one in the Backyard this week. The Purple Sox already had a one-game lead over everyone else in the conference, and a win here would simply lock them into the #1 seed while a loss would only push them into second place if the Boston Cubs also won. Faced with the weakest team in the Backyard Conference, the Purple Sox took care of business. The Baltimore Orioles did put up a fight, winning 8-0 at home in a game where they produced 13 hits and 4 walks, but it wasn’t enough to keep up with the Purple Sox, who concluded their dominant run through the second half of the season with a 26-0 romp that destroyed the Orioles, locked the Purple Sox into the first seed, and saw them finishing the season with six straight wins.

Player of the game: Great Scott, did Scotty Roth of the Purple Sox do well! He may have only gone 4-for-7 (“only”), but those four were a single, two doubles, and a triple that combined to bring in 7 runs. He also scored four times himself, and is definitely looking to continue his work as the Purple Sox enter the playoffs.

Boston Cubs 13, Green Monsters 12

This game was arguably the most important one of the week, as far as the Backyard Conference goes. If the Monsters won, they’d claim the final Backyard seed and render the wins by the Phillies and Floss unimportant. If they lost, though, there would be a three-way tie with extra baseball to make it in. It all came down to which team could perform better, and as was characteristic of almost every Cubs game this season, it was a close, low-scoring affair. Boston had nothing to play for, as they’d clinched the second seed regardless of what happened, but they put up a solid showing offensively, scoring 14 runs on 28 hits. Defensively it was another matter, as they allowed 3 runs on 5 hits, but that was still good enough to put them at +11. It then came down to the Monsters to show what they could do, and although they started slow, they picked up the pace at the tail end of the game, finishing with 13 runs scored off of 18 hits and a walk (with 8 of those hits being homers). Defensively, they allowed a run, but this still gave them a +12 on the day, which would have been enough for a win–were it not for home team proration, which bumped the Boston Cubs from a +11 to a +13 and allowed them to slide past the Monsters. This means that the Green Monsters are now in a three-way tie with the Red Phillies and Montana Floss–a tie that they have the advantage in but that will be decided by play-in games over the course of the next week.

Player of the game: Give Yvonne Carter credit, she wanted the playoffs! She was okay at the plate, going 2-for-4 with a single and a triple and finishing with 1 RBI and scoring once. But on the mound–oh, on the mound, she was fantastic, as she threw an incredibly efficient 35-pitch perfect game and was named the Backyard Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK! She also expressed confidence in the Monsters chances after the game, saying that she thinks they can take care of business.

Playoff Status

The Purple Sox have the #1 seed and will face the winner of the Frontyard play-in game. The Boston Cubs have the #2 seed and will face the Junior Athletics. The Wizard Wombats have the #3 seed and will face the Texas Rangers. As for the #4 seed…that’s gonna have to wait a bit. The Montana Floss, Red Phillies, and Green Monsters are in a three-way tie, with the Monsters slightly ahead of their competition on tiebreakers. What this means is that the Montana Floss and Red Phillies will face each other in a play-in game on the neutral site of Parks Department Field #2–so that the winner can get to another play-in game against the Green Monsters on the neutral site of Parks Department Field #2. (As with the Frontyard play-in game, all teams will be at home.) Whomever ends up surviving this bracket will end up facing the Arizona Diamondbacks.

FINAL STANDINGS

Backyard Conference
Purple Sox [aesnop] (11-3)
Boston Cubs [KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS] (10-4)
Wizard Wombats [Wizard] (9-5)
Green Monsters [Yurya] (6-8)
Red Phillies [crazyei8hts] (6-8)
Montana Floss [JorgesBankAccount] (6-8)
Junior Brewers [jibbodahibbo] (5-9)
Baltimore Orioles [Mavfatha] (3-11)

Indoor Conference
Arizona Diamondbacks [Sisu] (13-1)
Texas Rangers [Jyknight] (10-4)
Baltimore Bombers [jlund/Repub] (9-5)
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association [JOMAR] (9-5)
Seattle Fishes [elchrisblanco] (6-8)
Milwaukee Braves [Natetastic] (4-10)
Boston Reds [shrewsbury] (3-11)
Super-Duper Melonheads [Eauxps I. Fourgott] (2-12)

Frontyard Conference
Junior Athletics [MelloMathTeacher] (11-3)
Los Angeles Dodgers [hitace] (10-4)
Minnesota Twins [Toast] (10-4)
New York Yankees [Marco] (7-7)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays [T-Boz] (7-7)
Florida Marlins [skolgamingnetwork] (6-8)
Humongous Hornets [Vissery] (4-10)
Little Giants [SilverBullet102] (1-13)

PLAYOFFS

BACKYARD
#1 Purple Sox [aesnop] (11-3)[y]
#2 Boston Cubs [KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS] (10-4)[x]
#3 Wizard Wombats [Wizard] (9-5)[x]
#4 Green Monsters [Yurya] (6-8)

IN THE HUNT
#5 Red Phillies [crazyei8hts] (6-8)
#6 Montana Floss [JorgesBankAccount] (6-8)

INDOOR
#1 Arizona Diamondbacks [Sisu] (13-1) [y]
#2 Texas Rangers [Jyknight] (10-4) [x]

FRONTYARD
#1 Junior Athletics [MelloMathTeacher] (11-3) [y]
#2 Los Angeles Dodgers [hitace] (10-4)

IN THE HUNT
#3 Minnesota Twins [Toast] (10-4)

x=clinched playoff berth, y=clinched #1 seed in conference

ODE TO THE ELIMINATED

The season is over (well, kind of), and because of so many ties, there’s going to be a week of play-in games. Consequently, there are 11 teams still technically alive for the playoffs at the end of the season, but the other 13 deserve some attention of their own. Without further ado, here it is: a spotlight on the eliminated teams.

FRONTYARD CONFERENCE

Little Giants
Coach: SilverBullet102
Record: 1-13 (8th place)
Preseason projections: 5-9 7th place (crazyei8hts), 8th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

It wasn’t the best year for the Little Giants. And the reason for that is simple: the Giants just weren’t a very well put-together team. They had bright spots, like Ichiro (always good to have) and Amanda Hellerman on the mound, the latter of which they rode to the second-best defense in the Frontyard Conference (7.1 runs allowed per game). The offense was weak, however, with only one true power hitter and a huge lack of speed, and this combined with SilverBullet’s inexperience meant the Little Giants suffered through a long season of failure, made worse by the fact that the little offense they were able to muster dropped off halfway through the season–which is a shame, because they did look to have turned a corner in Week 5 and Week 6, where they scored 7 runs twice and snatched their only win. If they were ever able to regain that momentum, they would’ve been…well, probably not a force to be reckoned with, but they definitely would’ve been able to play spoiler at times.

Humongous Hornets
Coach: Vissery
Record: 4-10 (7th place)
Preseason projections: 7-7 5th place (crazyei8hts), 4th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

As is the case with several struggling teams, the Humongous Hornets problems started with the draft. Vissery intentionally pursued a “studs and duds” draft style, intending to pick up great players by trading up to have a bunch of picks in the first two rounds and finish off his team with one-trick ponies in the later rounds where he’d also have a bunch of picks. (Part of this strategy was also to have Albert Pujols on the team twice; this plan was destroyed when the Los Angeles Dodgers inexcusably took him at #7 overall.) His plan left him heavy on power hitters and fairly low on speed–and not even necessarily the best power hitters. This was capped off by Vissery deciding to play all his games in a single week and get it over with–long story short, this did not work out that great for the Humongous Hornets, and they started 0-6 before going .500 down the stretch. There’s hope for next season, though: Vissery now has a better grasp of everything that impacts draftability, and he’s had plenty of time to practice.

Florida Marlins
Coach: skolgamingnetwork
Record: 6-8 (6th place)
Preseason projections: 9-5 2nd place (crazyei8hts), 2nd place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

Unlike with the previous two teams, something that was never in doubt with the Marlins was the quality of their draft. As the fastest team in the conference with a lot of solid hitting that would allow them to play small ball, it was expected that the Marlins could effectively compete for a playoff seed, with the only question being their coach’s abilities. This turned out to be the downfall of the Marlins, as an examination of the team’s game videos shows a simple problem: the coach didn’t know how to stance shift. Being perpetually stuck in Squared mode is a significant handicap, and because of it the Marlins struggled, with their offense unable to produce as well as they might have otherwise. The Marlins still came close to a .500 record, and with a better understanding of the mechanics, they could’ve moved beyond “what might have been.”

Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Coach: T-Boz
Record: 7-7 (t-4th place)
Preseason projections: 8-6 3rd place (crazyei8hts), 6th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

There were two multi-season veterans in the Frontyard Conference this season (Vissery was technically a veteran as well, but three games as a substitute for another coach doesn’t really hold the same cache as two seasons of competition). T-Boz was the only one with playoff experience, having won an incredibly weak NL West with a 5-9 record, but was still kept in the Frontyard largely because of that 5-9 record. In drafting his team, he went for speed, speed, and more speed, and it seemed to work out for the most part; the Tampa Bay Devil Rays came the closest to a playoff spot of all the now-eliminated teams, sitting at 7-4 with three weeks to play after going 4-3 through the first half of the season and then 3-1 through the first part of the second half. The wheels fell off there, however, as the Dodgers dismantled their defense with a 41-run outing, the Twins took care of business to stay alive, and the Marlins won a squeaker to push the Devil Rays down to .500. Still, this is an improvement over last season (record-wise, if not results-wise), and T-Boz should look to build on it.

New York Yankees
Coach: Marco
Record: 7-7 (t-4th place)
Preseason projections: 9-5 1st place (crazyei8hts), 3rd place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

Not that fun fact: Marco was the other multi-season veteran in the Frontyard this season. Actual fun fact: he and T-Boz had very similar records entering the season, at 7-19 for Marco and 8-19 for T-Boz. Even more fun fact: at the end of this season, they’re still in a dead heat, with Marco holding a career record of 14-26 and T-Boz a record of 15-26. (The Devil Rays swept the Yankees this season, though.) For the Yankees, it was a season of ups and downs. They started off well, winning their first two games, and held reasonably steady until Week 8, where they were 5-3. Disaster struck over their next four games, as they fell to 5-7, but they won their last two games to finish 7-7. In the end, the Yankees were once again an also-ran, but this time they weren’t murdered by their home field (they finished 4-3 at Tin Can Alley) and there’s reason to believe they might be better next season.

INDOOR CONFERENCE

Super-Duper Melonheads
Coach: Eauxps I. Fourgott
Record: 2-12 (8th place)
Preseason projections: 9-5 3rd place (crazyei8hts), 5th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

That bit about how many of the poorer teams have problems that started with the draft applies here. Like Vissery, Eauxps pursued an unorthodox drafting strategy, but instead of trying to pick up a bunch of early picks and accept a bunch of late picks, Eauxps instead pushed the entirety of his draft to the fourth and fifth rounds. He drafted suboptimally there, however, as he admitted in his projections; since he focused more on individual players than the team, the Melonheads weren’t as well-structured as they could’ve been, although they did end up as the speediest team in the league. As with a lot of other poorly-performing teams, however, there were problems with coaching as well as structure. Although the Melonheads performed reasonably well in preseason, Eauxps entered a hitting slump pretty much from the moment he entered the season, and consequently the Melonheads had trouble putting runners on base and getting them in, finishing the season with the worst offense in the conference. When coupled with the worst defense in the conference, the results shouldn’t be surprising: an incredibly disappointing season (and, perhaps, proof that the opposite of studs and duds isn’t necessarily success). Eauxps has had success in the past, though, and with some better drafting he should be able to put this season behind him.

Boston Reds
Coach: shrewsbury91
Record: 3-11 (7th place)
Preseason projections: 4-10 8th place (crazyei8hts), 8th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

Technically the Boston Reds did better than predicted, but that’s not because the projections were wrong about them. (They were wrong about the Melonheads–and the Diamondbacks, while we’re on the subject–but that’s another thing entirely.) The big red flags came from the fact that the previous season, shrewsbury had put together a very strong defense but had trouble scoring runs; with an offense that appeared just as weak and a defense that was nowhere near as good, it was expected that the Reds would struggle to score and would give up too much. This wasn’t exactly inaccurate, as Boston’s 7.1 runs per game ranked 6th (7th place: Milwaukee Braves, 5.5 runs per game; 8th place: Super-Duper Melonheads, 5.4 runs per game) and their 13.3 runs allowed per game ranked 7th. These troubles saw them lose 11 games, and the Reds finished near (but not at) the bottom of the standings.

Milwaukee Braves
Coach: Natetastic28
Record: 4-10 (6th place)
Preseason projections: 4-10 7th place (crazyei8hts), 6th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

For teams with really weak records, I’ve blamed drafting and coaching (and often both). In this case, drafting was an issue, and the jury’s still out on coaching, but here I’d like to throw the field into the mix. As the last coach in the Indoor Conference to pick his field, he was stuck with whatever was left, and consequently found himself stuck at Sandy Flats. Now, I personally love Sandy Flats (it’s tied for my favorite field in this version of Backyard Baseball with Dirt Yards), but a lot of people hate it, and it’s not hard to see why: it’s a huge, defensively-oriented field where running is hard to do and runs are hard to come by. On top of this, the strategy that I’ve found works best is counterintuitive: instead of trying to blast the ball deep into the cavernous outfield, it’s best to load up on speed and outrun the throws to first. (I know, it’s the opposite of what you’d expect would work at a speed-negating field, but the fielders are slowed down getting to the ball too, and if they’re already slow, that provides opportunities for a faster team that they wouldn’t necessarily get on a faster field.) Natetastic went with the “big bats” strategy, but ended up fairly low on speed and had trouble hitting home runs at Sandy Flats (probably because the deepest part of the park is over 300 feet from home plate). Stuck with a field they didn’t want, with a team that wasn’t built right for it, the Milwaukee Braves struggled through a tough season, where at home they won one game (a 1-1 game won on the home tiebreaker where they only scored one run) and only put up 15 runs total (if you don’t want to do the math, that’s 2.14 runs per game, which isn’t exactly fantastic). On the road, they did much better, going 3-4 and scoring 62 runs (8.86 runs per game), so Natetastic at least has hope that next season will be better–especially if he can get off the beach.

Seattle Fishes
Coach: elchrisblanco
Record: 6-8 (5th place)
Preseason projections: 10-4 2nd place (crazyei8hts), 2nd place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

This season was…a disappointment for the Fishes. There were high hopes for the team coming into the season, buoyed by how elchrisblanco caught fire once he got used to his team the previous season (seriously, he went on a rampage as he swept the back half of the schedule and won a tiebreaker game to slip into the playoffs after starting out 1-3). Many prognosticators thought that he’d be able to carry that momentum into the new season but that turned out to be not the case. It was to a large extent a worse replay of Season 6 for the coach, as the Fishes started the season 0-4, went into the All-Star Break 2-5, gained momentum in the latter half of the season to rise to 6-6. The problem is that Seattle started worse, faced tougher competition, and there were fewer playoff spots available (2 spots fought over by 8 teams instead of 4 spots fought over by 12 teams). Oh, and there’s also the fact that the Diamondbacks and Rangers clinched those two spots very, very, very fast. Ultimately, it was a disappointing season, but the biggest question is whether elchrisblanco will ever start out hot; since he tends to need time to figure out his team, a hot start would be very, very, very worrying for his competition. If he can do that next season, watch out.

Baltimore Bombers
Coach: jlund24/Repub92
Record: 9-5 (t-3rd place)
Preseason projections: 10-4 1st place (crazyei8hts), 3rd place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

Say what you will about Baltimore, they were one of the toughest teams in the Indoor Conference. They weathered a coaching change, a minor cheating controversy, playing a couple of home games at the wrong field, and being an a conference where there were two dominant teams vying for two playoff spots with skill and aplomb. In the end, what it comes down to is a bit of bad luck, a bit of not quite being good enough, a bit of just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had the Diamondbacks not been so dominant, or had the Rangers stumbled earlier in the season, or had the Bombers won just one more game, they’d be in the running for a playoff spot, but the fact that despite a midseason coaching change from jlund to Repub, Repub accidentally cheating by using power-ups in what ended up being a loss (let’s be clear here: the rules were not clearly explained to Repub, and he stuck to them once they were. Repub plays fair), and playing a couple of home games at the wrong field, Baltimore stuck it out and did so well? I’d say that this season should leave both coaches feeling good (especially Repub, who went 5-2 in his stint as head coach).

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association
Coach: Jomar aka NateInDisney aka #Kobe aka whatever he’s calling himself this month
Record: 9-5 (t-3rd place)
Preseason projections: 6-8 5th place (crazyei8hts), 4th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

I had a long rant here, but it’d be beyond the pale to post it. So let me just summarize why the Angels aren’t getting a nice summary.

Jomar refused to play unless he wasn’t in the top tier, despite the fact that he would likely have been on the same level as much of Backyard. (The fact that he had the #1 offense and #2 defense in the Indoor Conference bears this premise out.) He therefore forced his way into Indoor under the assumption that it’d be easier for him to win. Then, when it turned out that two teams were dominating the conference, he protested the “unfairness” of him being unlikely to make the playoffs by throwing a game. (He didn’t mention the unfairness of forcing a schedule against weaker competition, you’ll notice.) The funny thing is that because the Texas Rangers dropped four games to end the season, including their final game against Anaheim, the Angels would have forced a play-in game with them if they had just won one more game…such as, for example, the one they forfeited in protest.

BACKYARD CONFERENCE

Baltimore Orioles
Coach: Mavfatha
Record: 3-11 (8th place)
Preseason projections: 3-11 8th place (crazyei8hts), 2nd place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

Prior to the season, there were two schools of thought about this team. One of them was that the Orioles were well-drafted and set up to make a run at the playoffs. The other held that Mavfatha wasn’t quite good enough to be in the top tier of teams and would suffer. That second group was proven correct, although there’s more to it than that: in addition to Mavfatha not really being strong enough to compete with the top coaches (at least at the present moment), there’s also the fact that Vissery’s discovery of several hidden stats made the Orioles seem much weaker overall (the Orioles were very weak in terms of game sense, stamina, and catching ability). On top of that, despite having drafted a couple of renowned mashers, their home games took place at The Paveway, a field that isn’t very homer-friendly. To make matters worse, Mavfatha’s experiment with putting Marky Dubois and Billy Jean Blackwood on the same team didn’t work out as he planned, as while Marky Dubois was permanently boosted, becoming reasonably fast with good pitching ability, Billy Jean Blackwood was a permanent anchor on the team’s prospects. The ultimate verdict from him and others was that this experiment didn’t work, and neither did many things for the Orioles this season. It’s not his fault, though; the Orioles were just placed in several bad situations that they couldn’t recover from.

Junior Brewers
Coach: jibbodahibbo
Record: 5-9 (7th place)
Preseason projections: 8-6 3rd place (crazyei8hts), 6th place (Eauxps I. Fourgott)

Although the Brewers finished with the fourth-best offense (16.6 runs per game) and second-best defense (15.9 runs allowed per game, tied with the Montana Floss) in the Backyard Conference, they were the second team eliminated and barely missed out on a play-in game. That’s a shame, because they have the best run differential of any team outside the top three (+11, with the Floss posting a +6, the Phillies posting a -50, and the Monsters posting a -70; those three are engaged in play-ins). So what’s the culprit behind this deserving team missing out? Close games. There were plenty of those this season, and the Brewers found themselves on the wrong end of those games more often than not, with a 2-5 record in games decided by 2 runs or less. Flip one of those losses, and the Brewers have a play-in game; flip two, and the Brewers make the playoffs. They were a pretty good squad, and should arguably be in the playoffs right now; it’s just bad luck that kept them out, so the future looks bright for jibbodahibbo.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“Hey, I’m a real journalist! There’s at least one error in every article I write, and that’s if you exclude the outright fabrications.” ­– JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach and writer of recaps, on reporting standards

“The Phillies season is complete! Filled with more ups and downs than I’m used to, but we had a blast. Now time to see if the miracle happens or if we join the consolation bracket.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, on finishing the season

“This team sucks. I’d rather be dead than pick Terry again.” – Vissery, Humongous Hornets not-coach, on finishing the season

“I have the second-most strikeouts among all teams behind the Giants. How?” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, on finishing the season

“Thankful for the offseason. This nightmare is over.” – SilverBullet102, Little Giants head coach, on finishing the season

“Rest assured I’ll milk the postseason for all it’s worth.” ­– MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on just being glad to make the playoffs

“Never. Put me. With Tony. Again.” – Angela Delvecchio, Super-Duper Melonheads starting pitcher, on finishing the season

“Right backatcha, sis.” – Tony Delvecchio, Super-Duper Melonheads, on finishing the season

“Hungover. If you wanna write that into this week you can.” – T-Boz, Tampa Bay Devil Rays head coach, who probably shouldn’t be in charge of children

“Start drinking again. It’ll fix it.” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, on being the all-American kid from New York City

“If Marco wins, he should be put in the playoffs over hitace.” – Vissery, Humongous Hornets not-coach, on the Dodgers-Yankees matchup

“I don’t think the Dodgers will lose.” – crazyei8hts, Red Phillies head coach, on the Dodgers-Yankees matchup

“I think the Dodgers would be better off if they faced the Purple Sox. Maybe hitace needs to lose a game to up the chances of winning.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on looking towards the future

“Hit nothing but pop-ups. Still annoyed.” – hitace, Los Angeles Dodgers head coach, on the poor performance of the Los Angeles Dodgers

“Now that is losing with style.” – KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS, Boston Cubs head coach, on the value of making your own decisions

“The Junior Athletics have claimed sole possession of the Frontyard League title!” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on having the best record in the Frontyard

“YANKEES WON! WE’RE THE FRONTYARD CHAMPS!” – Wendy Parsons, Junior Athletics, on being on the best team in the Frontyard Conference

“I’m good at this game.” – Marco, New York Yankees head coach, on finishing 7-7

“WE’RE AMAZING! CUBS WON’T KNOW WHAT HIT ‘EM!” – Dawn Cozart, Junior Athletics, on overconfidence

“Oh, my goodness. Can’t believe this is happening. It was an arduous journey, and I could never have anticipated doing this well. Multiple preseason pundits [Editor’s note: one guy] predicted us to finish last, and for good reason. I had almost no idea what I was doing to start off. Asked so many questions and got so much help. Did a ton of reading, got to know my kids, studied up on opposing teams, lots of practice and strategy meetings, and it’s led to this level of success. I want to thank my family for supporting me, my assistant coach for helping me manage my crew of kids. Most important, I want to thank the kids themselves. They’re so fun to be around, they’re super coachable, and they remind me of what’s great about being a kid. Huge thanks to the media too for covering our season and quoting us responsibly and fairly. It’s on to the playoffs now. I know the top dogs of the Backyard division are incredibly good at what they do and have coached for much longer than I have. It’ll be a monumental task to try to emerge victorious against one of them. But we’re going to try. We’re going to throw the kitchen sink at them. The kids will be ready. Speaking of, where are…oh. Oh god! AAAAAAAAAHHH!” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on being brutally devoured by the children he coached in a sacred ritual designed to bring them victory in the postseason

“Dogpiles feel better than I thought they would.” – Todd Xavier, Junior Athletics starting pitcher, on participating in a sacred ritual designed to bring his team victory in the postseason

“Phillies stay alive!” – Jyknight, Texas Rangers head coach, on the Red Phillies forcing a play-in game

“Let our opponents tremble before our bats.” – Yvonne Carter, Green Monsters, on the upcoming play-in games

“If I win this game, it should be titled ‘Bagwell’s Revenge.'” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, on Jeff Bagwell’s revenge on jibbodahibbo

“I don’t think it’s physically possible to handle this much floss.” – Vissery, Humongous Hornets not-coach, on the Montana Floss’s constant foul balls

“And with that the regular season is over.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on the final result coming in

“And just like that, the regular season is done!” – Sisu, Arizona Diamondbacks head coach, on the final result coming in

“Well what do you know, the season has ended.” – Vissery, Humongous Hornets not-coach, on the final result coming in

“It appears the regular season is complete.” – Toast, Minnesota Twins head coach, on the final result coming in

“Hey guys, I think we might be finished with the regular season.” – Eauxps I. Fourgott, Super-Duper Melonheads head coach, on the final result coming in

“I bit the inside of my cheek yesterday and now it hurts. Life is eternal suffering.” – Vissery, Humongous Hornets not-coach, on pain

“I hurt myself today to see if I still feel.” – Trent Reznor, Nine Inch Nails, agreeing with Vissery

“I LOVE YOU GUYS! THIS TEAM IS THE BEST!” – Courtney Valentino, Junior Athletics, on participating in a sacred ritual designed to bring her team victory in the postseason