We’re midway through the season. Hard to believe, ain’t it? With 7 weeks in the books, we now have a grasp of how every coach is likely to fare. But that’s a story for another post. This one is about what happened in Week 7, and boy, did stuff happen! Every team in the league now has a win, one of them is completely undefeated, and AI wins have hopped from Frontyard to Indoor! Will Backyard be next? Given that I coach one of the teams there, probably.

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK

Arizona Diamondbacks vs. Texas Rangers

This was the first flex-scheduled MOTW of the season, with the final two undefeated teams taking each other on in the last MOTW prior to the All-Star Break. Both of these teams had taken very different paths to reach 6-0; for the Diamondbacks, it was a strong AI defense, Randy Johnson being fantastic on the mound, and Jay Green trying to set as many batting records as possible, while for the Rangers it was a case of never being fantastic at any one thing but always doing just enough to win. Naturally, the questions facing these teams entering the game were whether Jay Green would put on a show, how Dirt Yards would affect the outcome (especially with how devastating grounders can be at the field), and who would take pole position going into the All-Star Break.

The game started out well for Arizona, as they loaded the bases for Jay Green to start the game. Unusually, Jay Green only managed a single, but this left the Diamondbacks leading 1-0 with no outs to start the game, and increased their lead to 3-0 on a fielder’s choice that went out of play on the relay to the plate and finished the top of the first up 4-0 when Jay Green scrambled home on an infield single. The game got closer in the bottom of the first, though, as first the Diamondbacks gave up a run to the Rangers AI and then the Rangers closed the gap some by scoring 2 runs off of a wild throw to second during a steal (4 bases were stolen on the play). Another wild throw on Dante’s attempt to steal second later in the inning ended with the ball going out of play, and the Rangers scored another run there, although since they didn’t get any more runs on the board after that the inning ended with the teams tied at 3 apiece.

The Diamondbacks retook the lead in the top of the 2nd with a Mary Reilly solo shot, but failed to get any other runners on base, which allowed the Rangers to tie when Uma Morris started the bottom of the inning with a solo home run of her own. The Rangers weren’t able to take the lead despite a Jocinda Smith single, though, so the game remained tied entering the third inning. There, the inning started with another solo shot (this time from Jay Green), but this time instead of going down three in a row, Arizona loaded the bases and scored on a Randy Johnson sacrifice fly to center. The Diamondbacks followed this up with a 2-run double, and after a few more batters ended up loading the bases for Jay Green. Jay Green once again hit a homer to left field, and the grand slam put Arizona up 13-2 in their game and 11-4 overall. Although Chandler Huggins struck out to end the top of the 3rd and the Rangers did manage a 2-run homer from Betty Houston in the bottom of the inning that gave them a presumptive run differential of 7, the damage was done, and Arizona had an 4-run lead midway through the game.

Arizona extended their lead to 5 by scoring a run in the top of the 4th, but the bottom of the inning is where the game started to shift, as Veronica Lee hit a 2-run homer to cut the Diamondbacks’ lead to 3. The Rangers followed this up by utilizing infield singles and a passed ball to push Wally Evans across the plate, and ended up loading the bases for Betty Houston with only one out after Dante Robinson walked. Betty Houston struck out, and Uma Morris popped up to the catcher, but when the catcher dropped it Pete Wheeler crossed the plate to give Texas a 10-0 lead in their game–which, when the sixth-inning adjustment was preemptively applied, meant that the Diamondbacks and Rangers were tied once again at 12-12. This was followed with another error when Jay Green (pitcher) dropped a pop-up and the Rangers took a 13-12 lead. A third pop-up occurred with Jocinda at the plate, but although the shortstop dropped this one, she managed to recover quickly enough to make the toss to second and end the inning.

The Diamondbacks took the lead back in the top of the fifth with a three-run homer from Jason Giambi, but lost it in the bottom of the inning when Texas singled, doubled, and walked their way to 5 more runs and a 19-15 lead. Although the Diamondbacks did get Jay Green up to bat in the top of the sixth, he only managed a single, and even though the Diamondbacks managed to load the bases, Arizona proved unable to score any more runs, and the game ended with that as the final score.

Texas Rangers 19, Arizona Diamondbacks 15

Next week’s game: Boston Cubs vs. Baltimore Orioles

To kick off the second half of the season, we return to the Backyard Conference, where the first-place Boston Cubs take on the last-place Baltimore Orioles. While this might look like an easy game to predict, it’s not so simple, as the Cubs have staked their reputation entirely on their tough defense. If the Orioles manage to pull out a good game against Boston, this could be one of the bigger upsets this season, and even if they don’t, it should be a good, competitive match. When’s it take place? Same bat time, same bat channel: 8:30 PM Mountain Time on Sisu’s Twitch on August 14th.

Player of the game: Even when his team loses, he wins! Jay Green was named the Indoor Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK for putting together a game where he went 4-for-5 with two singles, two homers, 6 RBIs, and 3 scores himself, topping it all off with a stolen base. Also of note is Rangers pitcher Betty Houston, who was named the PITCHER OF THE WEEK for throwing a 2-hit, 4-strikeout shutout while offensively going 2-for-4 with a single and a home run where she had 3 RBIs and scored twice herself.

FRONTYARD CONFERENCE

Los Angeles Dodgers 12, Florida Marlins 7

After barely losing to the Twins in the highest-scoring game the Frontyard’s seen this season, the Dodgers bounced back at home against the Marlins. While they didn’t turn in a performance anywhere near last week’s 39-hit, 29-run mashing, they still had a pretty good day, snagging 11 runs off of 17 hits while allowing one run defensively. Meanwhile, the Marlins put up another solid-but-not-spectacular outing, scoring 9 runs on 17 hits and allowing 2 runs. With the Twins loss, Los Angeles moves into a three-way tie for first with both Minnesota and the Junior Athletics, while the Marlins once again drop under .500.

Player of the game: Los Angeles continues to put up strong pitching performances with their rotation of starters. This time, it was Gretchen Hasselhoff, who got all but one out while facing down 19 batters and allowing 3 hits and no runs. And did I happen to mention that she threw 12 strikeouts? Plus, she was fairly good offensively, going 3-for-4 (all singles), getting an RBI, and scoring twice. Good stuff here from Jabberjaw. Goooooood stuff.

Junior Athletics 17, New York Yankees 6

The Athletics absolutely exploded at Tin Can Alley. In a game that featured Dawn Cozart blasting a home run over a skyscraper, Butch Sherrod actually managing to get on base, and Courtney Valentino only scoring once despite getting on base 6 times, somehow the most surprising thing is that the Athletics were actually pretty inefficient, as they left 16 runners stranded while scoring 19 times off of 32 hits and 3 walks (they allowed two runs defensively). Meanwhile, the Yankees suffered a letdown as they lost at home for the first time this season when their 6-1 victory (12 hits, no walks on offense; 5 hits allowed, 10 strikeouts on defense) wasn’t enough to keep up with the Athletics. This win allows the Athletics to keep pace with the Dodgers and puts them back in a tie for first place with Los Angeles and Minnesota, while New York falls back a game but is still very easily in the race at 4-3.

Player of the game: Remember how Dawn Cozart made the ball leap a tall building in a single bound? Yeah, so do I. 3-for-6 isn’t great, but two single and a building-clearing homer that brought home 6 RBIs is. Plus, she scored every time she got on base. Who could ask for anything more?

Tampa Bay Devil Rays 3, Little Giants 1

Despite being the lowest-scoring game in either conference, these two teams went about getting their final score in completely different ways. For the Giants, it was a battle of defenses at Eckman Acres, as they fought through 8 scoreless innings to eventually claim a win when Jimmy Rollins brought in Ichiro from third. For the Devil Rays, it was more of an offensive match, as while they scored 5 runs off of 16 hits, they also allowed 2 runs to score off of 7 hits. Tampa Bay takes the win and gets back above .500, sitting tied with the Yankees and a game short of the conference lead, while the Giants enter the All-Star Break with only one win under their belt.

Player of the game: The Giants may have lost, but Amanda Hellerman put together a fantastic pitching performance, going the distance and facing down 24 batters while allowing only 2 hits–and both of those runners ended up being taken out on double plays. Her 8 inning, 53-pitch shutout performance featured 6 strikeouts and only one ball, and led to her being named the Frontyard Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK!

Humongous Hornets 17, Minnesota Twins 5

After having the greatest game the Frontyard’s seen this season at home, Minnesota hit the road and headed to Playground Commons. After two double-digit games, the Twins were perhaps fated for a letdown, and that’s exactly what happened. While they were decent offensively, scoring 11 runs on 22 hits, defensively they fell apart, as Julie Dunkel and company ended up letting the Hornets score 6. Their poor defense this week didn’t end up mattering, though, as for the first time this season the Hornets found themselves not coming up short, upsetting the then division-leading Twins and pulling out their first win by scoring 16 runs on 20 hits and a walk while allowing only 2 runs defensively. The Twins are now pushed back into a three-way tie for the conference lead with the Los Angeles Dodgers and Junior Athletics, while the Hornets manage to snap their winless record just before the All-Star Break.

Player of the game: Zena Fromme of the Hornets was named the Frontyard Conference’s BATTER OF THE WEEK! Why, you might ask? Well, she went 2-for-3–no, that’s not the impressive part. The impressive part is that those two hits were grand slams. She was a true three-outcome player in this one, with two home runs, a walk, and a strikeout, and while she didn’t score either time she got on base, her 8 RBIs were fantastic and helped carry the Hornets to victory. Also, she hates omelettes.

INDOOR CONFERENCE

Seattle Fishes 12, Boston Reds 9

A battle between basement-dwellers was both close and surprisingly high-scoring. For the Boston Reds, it was an efficient day, as they posted 9 runs on 12 hits and 2 walks. For the Seattle Fishes, it was not, but they made up for it by getting more runs and hits in total, notching 12 of the former and 21 of the latter. While the Fishes did give up two runs defensively, this lapse was covered by their home bonus. The Fishes are now 2-5 heading into the break, while the Reds are one game worse, at 1-6.

Player of the game: Jane Davis of the Fishes pushed them over the margin, going 4-for-4 with two singles, a double, and a home run. She scored twice and managed 5 RBIs on the day. She also would like to know whether it’s possible for humans to one day live in cities made of blimps.

Baltimore Bombers 9, Super-Duper Melonheads 1

After narrowly losing in last week’s Matchup Of The Week, the Melonheads suffered a letdown against the Bombers. For the Bombers, it was (slightly subdued) business as usual, as they put together a 12-hit, 3-walk, 9 run day on offense and held the Melonheads AI to a single hit on defense. For the Melonheads, this was also business as usual, as much as they might dislike it; their 7-hit, 2-run offensive performance with a run allowed marks the third time this season that the Melonheads have only been able to manage a run differential of 1. The Bombers get back over .500 with this win; the Melonheads, meanwhile, stay firmly at the bottom of the Indoor Conference with their 1-6 record.

Player of the game: Nancy Chin did it all for the Bombers! Offensively, she went 2-for-4 with a single and a double and scored twice. Defensively, she faced down 13 batters, allowed one hit, and got three strikeouts. Fensively, she’s rather annoyed that the whitewash scene is the only thing anyone ever mentions from Tom Sawyer, because it just proves that most people only read a couple of chapters of the book. Oh well, Huck Finn’s better anyway. (So’s the Rush song.)

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association 16, Milwaukee Braves -1

AI wins hopped the fence and joined the Indoor Conference with this game. It was a disappointing outcome for the Braves, who have been struggling most of the season and have had these struggles become especially pronounced over the past few weeks. Unusually for the Braves, the problem was their defense, as while they scored a low but workable 3 runs, they gave up 4 to the Angels AI. Meanwhile, the Pink Angles Association took care of business at Eckman Acres, snagging 14 runs off of 23 hits and pitching a shutout on their way to a decisive victory that gives them sole possession of third place in the Indoor Conference at 5-2.

Player of the game: Maria Luna went 4-for-4 with a single and three doubles, and while she only had 1 RBI, she scored every time she came up to bat. She’s also feeling cautiously optimistic about Generation 5 of My Little Pony, and will be keeping an eye on that.

BACKYARD CONFERENCE

Boston Cubs 14, Red Phillies 13

Once again, the Cubs barely beat a tough team in their fifth game in a row decided by less than 5 runs. It’s a rare occasion when the Phillies can’t bring home the dingers, but at the notoriously HR-unfriendly Cement Gardens, they were only able to notch 3 homers. Although the Phillies didn’t have trouble getting on base, with 22 hits and 3 walks, they weren’t able to bring their runners home, leaving 12 stranded as they only scored 13. This was enough for the Cubs to sneak past, as they had a similarly-inefficient day, scoring 13 runs off of 26 hits at home and allowing a run off of 10 hits. The Cubs are now tied for first in the Backyard Conference at 5-2, with wins against the other two 5-2 teams, while the Phillies have dropped 3 in a row and are now below .500 for the first time this season.

Player of the game: Esmeralda Heimann threw a great game in a losing effort: a 1-hit shutout with 7 strikeouts. But this wasn’t as good of a performance as that of Cubs catcher Susan Gore, who went 5-for-5 with 4 singles and a double, garnered 3 RBIs, scored thrice, and thoroughly crunchatized the Phillies.

Wizard Wombats 31, Montana Floss 6

Week 7 might have been a much lower scoring week than Week 6 in the Backyard, but nobody told the Wombats that, as they absolutely stomped the Floss at La Chancla. Even that doesn’t give an idea of the scope of the Wombats dominance; while offensively they scored 26 runs off of 32 hits (11 of which were homers) and 3 walks, defensively they pitched a three-hit shutout with an impressive 12 strikeouts. As for their AI, it held the Floss to 7 runs off of 9 hits and forced Brad Radke to give up a run for the first time this season with a Chico Pappas solo shot. The Wombats continue to mostly dominate with their destructive offense and are tied for first with the Boston Cubs and Purple Sox, while the Montana Floss drop below .500 again and sit at 3-4.

Player of the game: Tim Hudson was named the Backyard Conference’s PITCHER OF THE WEEK for throwing a three-hit shutout 12 strikeouts. But he’s not the player of the game, because for the first time this season a single team managed to grab both awards! The BATTER OF THE WEEK? Jennifer Goodfellow, who went 5-for-5 with a single and an astounding 4 home runs, finishing with 7 RBIs and four runs scored. You just can’t compete with that type of hitting!

Purple Sox 16, Junior Brewers 5

Coming off a run of double-digit performances and their best game yet (a 38-run toasting of the Orioles), the Junior Brewers took a step back to their early-season performances, scoring only 8 runs off of 19 hits and allowing 4 runs off of 9 hits defensively. This was not the case for the Purple Sox, because while they didn’t have one of their trademark bowel-loosening scores they still put up 17 runs on 22 hits while allowing only one (a solo shot) and throwing only 30 pitches. The Brewers drop below .500 again, and the Purple Sox stay one of only three teams in the Backyard Conference with a winning record.

Player of the game: Anna Goodreau of the Purple Sox went 4-for-4 with a pair of singles and a pair of home runs. She scored thrice and brought home an impressive 7 RBIs. You know what else she brought home? A dozen delicious doughnuts to share with her family.

Baltimore Orioles 8, Green Monsters 2

The first half of the season ended with the two weakest teams in the Backyard Conference taking each other on. Surprisingly, it was the Orioles who pulled out the win on the road, as they took advantage of their familiarity with concrete to score 11 runs off of 25 hits and 2 walks, stealing 9 bases along the way and allowing 3 runs defensively. As for the Monsters, who have been an occasionally fantastic team, this was their worst performance yet; they only managed 12 hits, and their only scores were a 2-run homer from Pablo Sanchez and a solo shot from Raquel Cullen. To top things off, the Monsters also gave up a run on defense. This game gives the Orioles their second win, and the Monsters and Orioles are tied at the bottom of the conference with records of 2-5.

Player of the game: Cheryl Reynolds went 5-for-5 with two singles, two triples, and a home run. She finished with 4 RBIs and scored 4 times herself. She also would like to point out that Sonic Boom is the best Sonic cartoon.

STANDINGS

Backyard Conference
Wizard Wombats [Wizard] (5-2)
Boston Cubs [KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS] (5-2)
Purple Sox [aesnop] (5-2)
Junior Brewers [jibbodahibbo] (3-4)
Red Phillies [crazyei8hts] (3-4)
Montana Floss [JorgesBankAccount] (3-4)
Baltimore Orioles [Mavfatha] (2-5)
Green Monsters [Yurya] (2-5)

Indoor Conference
Texas Rangers [Jyknight] (7-0)
Arizona Diamondbacks [Sisu] (6-1)
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Pink Angles Association [JOMAR] (5-2)
Baltimore Bombers [jlund] (4-3)
Seattle Fishes [elchrisblanco] (2-5)
Milwaukee Braves [Natetastic] (2-5)
Boston Reds [shrewsberry] (1-6)
Super-Duper Melonheads [Eauxps I. Fourgott] (1-6)

Frontyard Conference
Minnesota Twins [Toast] (5-2)
Los Angeles Dodgers [hitace] (5-2)
Junior Athletics [MelloMathTeacher] (5-2)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays [T-Boz] (4-3)
New York Yankees [Marco] (4-3)
Florida Marlins [skolgamingnetwork] (3-4)
Little Giants [SilverBullet102] (1-6)
Humongous Hornets [Vissery] (1-6)

JYKNIGHT’S POWER RANKINGS

Jyknight’s Week 8 Power Rankings…don’t actually come out until Week 8. So maybe we’ll get two during the Week 8 recap, or they’ll get put in the Midseason Wrap-Up post if it’s late, or I’ll edit them in here later. Who can say? Well, I can, but I’m the editor. You’ll just have to guess what I’ll do. I could do anything. Including post limericks about ghosts eating submarine sandwiches (or, as Canadians call them, “Al”).

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“I just spilled water on myself.” – Vissery, Humongous Hornets head coach

“Oh yeah I have to play a game this week don’t I.” – aesnop, Purple Sox head coach, on his approach to coaching

“I just realized I screwed up the timeline; Ocarina of Time is a prequel to Link to the Past, not a sequel to it, and that screws all that up.” – MelloMathTeacher, Junior Athletics head coach, on the Zelda timeline

“I’m ready to get my [censored] kicked.” – GSchlim, former coach, on a possible return to the league

“We replace the playoffs with a Frank Zappa trivia contest.” – KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS, Boston Cubs head coach, on rule changes

“We can win against the Giants.” – Nan Porter, Junior Athletics, expressing confidence

“Well you see, Yurya, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they make babies. And these babies, well, they grow into kids. And as kids, they sometimes join youth baseball leagues, and in the leagues they occasionally find themselves on the basepaths.” – JorgesBankAccount, Montana Floss head coach, explaining how runners end up on base

“These [censored] pickleworms are spoiling my cucumber plants those [censored]!” – elchrisblanco, Seattle Fishes head coach, on pickleworms

“Heads of state who ride and wrangle, who look at your face from more than one angle, can cut you from their bloated budgets like sharpened knives through Chicken McNuggets.” – John McCrea, CAKE, Nugget, on heads of state who ride and wrangle, who look at your face from more than one angle, that can cut you from their bloated budgets like sharpened knives through Chicken McNuggets