Montreal Marlins 10, New York Giants 6

The Giants had the second-best game they’ve had so far this season in Week 10, managing to beat the AI by 6 (their previous high was 11 against the Angels, and their best outside of that was a 3-run win). They accomplished this feat by steadily getting on base, getting 19 runners on as they pushed 7 of them across home plate and only gave up one run. The Marlins were too much for them to handle, though, as jibbodahibbo had a very efficient day by scoring 9 runs off of only 12 hits and no walks. Although this wasn’t the best game the Marlins have had so far this season, it was enough to win even without the home bonus and marks their 4th game in a row of double-digit scores. Since the Bombers beat the Cardinals, the Marlins are now a game back of the division lead in the NL East, trailing the Angels and Cardinals with games against each still to come, and they also sit two games back in the wild-card race. As for the Giants, this loss did little to dull their playoff aspirations, as the Devil Rays and Expos both lost, leaving them still two games shy of the division lead in the NL West with 4 games left to play.

Player of the game: Three players homered for the Marlins, and two of them went 3-for-3, both knocking in 3 runs. What separates Anna Goodreau from Yvonne Carter and makes her the player of the game is that she hit a triple and subsequently scored another run.

Albuquerque Tapirs 11, Atlanta Braves -1

The Tapirs visited Eckman Acres this week, and although they scored nine fewer runs than last week, it was still enough to propel them past the Braves, who lost to the AI for the third time this season. The Tapirs had a solid if unspectacular day at the plate, getting 23 runners on base but only hitting 3 extra-base hits, while the Braves posted 12 hits, with four of them going for 2 or more bases including a pair of home runs. However, the real story for the Braves was their defense, as they gave up the same number of hits and one more run, allowing the Tapirs to win so long as they beat the AI, while the story for the Tapirs was the number of bases they stole, as they took advantage of a weak-armed catcher and the incredibly slow Mikey Thomas at third to steal 21 bases and constantly put runners in scoring position despite rarely hitting anything but singles. The Tapirs continue to hold a one-game lead in the wild card race with all the tiebreakers aligned their way, while with this loss the Braves are now on the verge of elimination.

Player of the game: Gail Weinmann of the Tapirs went 4-for-4. In doing so, she not only had the longest hit for the Tapirs (the lone triple of the game), but also stole the most bases (five) and scored more than any other player (thrice). At the postgame ice cream party, she ordered a butterscotch sundae.

Crazy Indians 22, Super-Duper Melonheads 10

The Melonheads were hoping to keep pace in a competitive (if underwhelming) AL West race. Unfortunately, this week they faced the juggernaut Indians, who put up the best game they’ve had away from their home of Steele Stadium. While Frank Thomas had an underwhelming game on the mound for the Indians, allowing 8 hits and 4 runs (while also tossing 8 strikeouts), this was more than made up for by their offensive production, as the Indians had 50 at-bats on which they registered 40 hits for a team batting average of .800. (They also managed three walks, which brings their total number of plate appearances to 53.) Not only were they constantly hitting the ball, they were constantly hitting the ball out, as all but one player (Todd Helton) smashed the ball out of the park (and even that was made up for by Petra Chekov homering twice). The Melonheads didn’t do too poorly themselves, as they managed 21 hits, but 18 of those were singles, they didn’t get a single walk, and while they did knock in 11 runs they also gave up 3 on the mound. With this win, the Indians continue to be frontrunners for the #1 seed in the AL, while the Melonheads are back a game of the AL West lead with another tough opponent in the Rockies on the horizon.

Player of the game: Petra Chekov went 4-for-5 and added a walk to that tally. Plus, she homered twice, becoming the only Indian to hit more than one homer; hit a double, becoming one of three Indians to do so; and had 8 RBIs, more than double the number of any other Indian. Let’s face it: this week, the Melonheads AI was…Petrafied.

Oakland Orioles 18, Boston Red Sox 14

This was a game where almost everyone predicted the Orioles would fall back to their normal, underwhelming output and the Red Sox would cruise to an easy win. That’s not exactly what happened. Instead, while the Red Sox had one of their comparatively weaker performances, only managing to score 14 runs off of 26 hits while allowing two runs (one from each pitcher used), the Orioles were much more efficient, only getting one more hit and a walk but scoring 5 more runs and only allowing 1. This efficiency proved to be the difference, as the Red Sox fell in what was the biggest upset (although not the biggest surprise) of the week. While the Red Sox retain their hold on the wild card, it’s much more tenuous than it was at the end of last week, as they’re tied with Colorado and only winning on a tiebreaker since the Rockies won this week. Meanwhile, since the Melonheads and Wombats both lost, Oakland are now the sole holders of first place in the AL West, leading the division by one game; to make things even better for them, they have the easiest Week 11 matchup of all the AL West teams, as they go against the Minnesota Monsters, who still haven’t quite adjusted to their new coach (or perhaps their coach hasn’t adjusted to them).

Player of the game: In a heroic effort for the losing team, Zena Fromme went 4-for-4 with 3–count ’em, 3–home runs. She also hit a single, but we don’t talk about that. And she had 6 RBIs!

New York Yankees 6, Crazy Cubs 3

Aesnop made a triumphant return to the game this week, taking over for the absent MarcoMcGwire for one game. In order to not make it too hard on the Yankees, Aesnop replaced their avatar with Eeyore (who, incidentally, is one of the most loveable donkeys of all time. OF ALL TIME!) and played the game left-handed. While this wasn’t too much of a struggle, due to the fact that Eeyore is apparently ambidextrous, Aesnop didn’t play as hard as possible, and ended up getting only five runs while allowing three. This was enough for Marco, who as usual had a better day away from La Chancla and managed to rack up 9 runs on 20 hits and a walk at Scrapco. While this performance was dulled somewhat by the fact that the Yankees gave up 3 runs, it was still enough to sneak the Yankees past the Cubs and keep them technically alive for one more week. Despite that, wins by the Bombers, Tapirs, Marlins, and Angels meant that the Yankees didn’t gain any ground, and with only four weeks left in the season they’ll need a miracle to make the playoffs. The Cubs sit in a similar position; while they’ve finally found a new coach, their only chance at the playoffs requires them to win the division. As they currently sit 3 games back of the division lead, EclipsedxShadow would need to win out and have the Devil Rays lose out and have the other results from the Expos and Giants fall the Cubs way in order to make the playoffs.

Player of the game: Wendy Parsons went 2-for-4, hitting a single and a homer. She knocked in 2 runs and crossed the plate twice. She also stole a base and sang MCR at the postgame karaoke session.

Baltimore Bombers 6, St. Louis Cardinals 3

Entering this game, Baltimore was 8-1 while St. Louis was 7-2. Whichever team won this would take possession of the first seed in the NL. To make things even more interesting, both of these teams have reputations as being the strongest AIs in the NL. They certainly lived up to this reputation, as a low-scoring game ensued, with neither team managing to get more than 12 runners on base (12 hits for the Bombers, 10 hits and a walk for the Cardinals). However, while both teams pitched shutouts, the Bombers were more successful at putting together a rally, as they managed to score six runs despite never having a hit longer than a double, while St. Louis was held to 3 runs even though Marsellus Marx hit a home run (one that was admittedly a solo shot). Baltimore was also able to steal plenty, as they got 10 stolen bases while the Cardinals were unable to steal even once. In the aftermath, the Bombers held on to their #1 seed lead of a game, with the closest competition coming from their division rivals the Albuquerque Tapirs (who sit a game back of them with the tiebreakers falling the Bombers way), while the Cardinals were actually knocked out of the playoffs were the season to end today due to the Angels having a head-to-head advantage on them for the NL East and the Tapirs having both a one-game lead and head-to-head tiebreaker in the wild card race.

Player of the game: Trent Sizemore went 4-for-4 (all singles) and scored thrice. In order to do so, he stole 7 bases, providing a majority of the steals for the Bombers, and his plate-crossing abilities ended up being the margin of victory–a margin that was absolutely necessary for the Bombers to win, as they were the road team in this one.

Blue Blue Jays 26, Mighty Tigers 19

The Blue Jays needed a win in the worst way in order to keep pace in the AL West. Despite the Mighty Tigers putting up their best game of the season–yes, even including when GSchlim was still coaching them–the Blue Jays did exactly that, snatching victory with a resounding 23-1 win at home. KiiiiiiiiiiiiiiS sent 46 batters to the plate, and they got on base 29 times (28 hits, 1 walk). When combined with five homers and nine stolen bases, this meant that the Blue Blue Jays were a big blue machine, and while the 22 runs would have been enough for them to win, the extra 4 pushed them ahead handily. Ozzy Osbourne did his best to keep up, and actually got one more runner on base on the same number of plate appearances while scoring as many runs and hitting as many homers. However, the Tigers were let down by three things. Firstly, they only managed to steal one base. Secondly, their defense let up four runs; although this is a better showing than when Ozzy started, defense remains a problem for the Tigers under Ozzy. Thirdly, they were on the road, and therefore didn’t have the home bonus. In the end, the already-eliminated Tigers were unable to play partial spoiler, and the Blue Jays are a game back of the AL West division lead with all the tiebreakers currently in their pocket.

Player of the game: The Blue Jays had Betty Houston on their side, and that made all the difference. She went 4-for-4-for-4-home-runs, and actually managed to get herself across the plate 5 times because at some point the Tigers gave up and decided to just walk her in the hopes that that would keep her in check. She also hit 9 RBIs, which means that even if you subtract the self-scoring RBIs Betty Houston knocked in 5 runners who weren’t Betty Houston. Player of the game? No. I think BETTY HOUSTON is the PLAYER OF THE WEEK.

Seattle Mariners 12, Montreal Expos Forfeit

This game had huge playoff implications for both teams, as coming into the game they were both 2 games behind their closest route to the playoffs. For the Mariners, this meant the wild card, where they’d need to creep ahead of the Albuquerque Tapirs, Montreal Marlins, and either the St. Louis Cardinals or the Anaheim Angels. For the Expos, this meant the AL West race, which is the only race they could still win and which would need them to essentially win three games more than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays over the last five weeks of the season. Seattle made its case for playoff contention with a strong game at Playground Commons, getting 22 hits on their way to scoring 12 runs and shutting out the Expos offensive attack. Meanwhile, after a frustrating outing where his computer may have frozen just when he was starting to get into the groove, Jarod Johnson decided to give up and forfeit for the sake of his sanity. This was good news for the Mariners, who remain in the playoff chase with this win, although they’re still two games back of the wild card due to wins from the Tapirs and Marlins. As for the Expos, they remain in contention due to Tampa Bay’s loss, but they’ll need to be at least two games better (and probably more) than the Devil Rays over the final four weeks of the season.

Player of the game: Sally Dobbs went 3-for-4 with a single and 2 home runs that brought in five runners. She was also seen lecturing everybody else in the locker room about what they could have done better after the game, but the rest of the team was wearing earplugs provided by the coach for that exact situation.

Anaheim Angels 13, Tampa Bay Devil Rays -1

In the last game submitted from the NL, the Angels continued to win and the Devil Rays continued to lose, as Anaheim picked up their fifth win in a row and Tampa Bay fell with their sixth loss in a row. This game was unusual in that the Angels had their worst performance since Week 5, also their last loss, while the Devil Rays fell to their opponents’ AI for also the first time since Week 5. Compounding this is that the Angels AI is considered one of the weaker ones in the game, although takenotes011’s strong play has made up for it in most instances. Here, the Angels scored 16 runs on 26 hits and a walk, but their strong offensive play was stunted somewhat by their defense, which gave up three runs. Particularly of note here is Julie Dunkel, who pitched a complete game but gave up 14 hits while only registering a single strikeout–a performance that actually makes the three runs scored by the Devil Rays AI seem underwhelming. Although Tampa Bay managed to score 3 runs at home, they gave up 4 to the Angels AI, causing coach T-Boz to comment in a postgame press conference that “we just didn’t execute enough…needed to get more hitters on base and we didn’t do that. We take it one game at a time and try to improve on what we failed on last time out.” This win, combined with the Cardinals loss to the Bombers, puts the Angels in the lead in their division race on the head-to-head tiebreaker; while they do have a difficult game against the Bombers next week, the Angels still have a good chance to keep pole position as they head into the final three division games of the year. Meanwhile, although Tampa Bay lost, they didn’t give any ground as every other team in their division lost as well; at this point, the NL West is looking like a race against the clock for every other team, while the Devil Rays are mostly hoping to just stay ahead of the pack for a few more games.

Player of the game: The Angels’ Troy Glaus went 4-for-5 with 2 singles, a triple, and a home run. He also got three RBIs, scored thrice himself, and stole 2 of the 4 bases the Angels were able to take. The moral of this story? Trojans in Glaus houses should beware of Greeks bearing stones.

Pittsburgh Pirates 11, Minnesota Monsters 6

The Pirates may be eliminated from the playoffs, but they can still play spoiler, as they demonstrated aptly by beating the Monsters and dropping them to 5-6 on the season–quite a fall for a team that started 3-0 and was considered nigh-unbeatable. While there are several explanations for this, most notably a midseason coaching change that hasn’t really worked out well, the end result is that Minnesota is now considered a comparatively easy team to beat in the American League. The Pirates accomplished this feat in Week 10, as they put together a fairly solid game, notching 26 hits and a walk. While they had trouble getting players across the plate, only managing to get 12 runs and leaving 15 runners stranded (and putting Kimmy Eckman on the mound to throw one pitch and give up a run), this was still enough to beat Minnesota, as BootyHunter’s squad only managed 9 hits and one walk. The Monsters were efficient with their runners, as they managed to score six (although like the Pirates, they gave up a run), but the sheer lack of offensive action proved to be their downfall. In the end, although Minnesota didn’t fall behind further in the wild card race due to the Red Sox losing earlier in the week, they also didn’t gain any traction, and have a losing record for the first time all season.

Player of the game: This was a true team effort for the Pirates, as nobody stood out too much and everyone contributed. In the end, Brad Radke gets the nod, as he went 2-for-4 (both singles), had 3 RBIs (tied for the team lead), and crossed the plate twice. Also, he pitched a 3-hit, 7-strikeout shutout–although the fact that Kimmy had to come in to throw one pitch and give up a run raises the question of how much of a shutout it actually was.

Colorado Rockies 8, Arizona Diamondbacks 3

After a tough loss to the Red Sox in a must-win game for wild-card supremacy, the Rockies were hoping to bounce back against the Diamondbacks. Arizona, meanwhile, had been on fire since they stopped playing the AL East, posting a 5-1 record against all non-divisional opponents and clawing their way into the wild card race, albeit in a position near the rear. This game was important for both teams, but neither one did quite as well as they wanted. mbless1415 was able to score 10 runs, but only got 19 players on base and didn’t hit any homers while giving up 2 runs defensively. Yurya, meanwhile, fell victim to Colorado’s surprisingly stout defense, which had one of their best days on the year by holding the Diamondbacks to 7 hits and 3 runs (although their pitching staff did give up 5 walks). In the end, the Rockies won a close, low-scoring game, and that combined with the Red Sox loss means they’re only out of the wild card spot on a tiebreaker, while the Diamondbacks remain 2 games out and on the wrong side of all the tiebreakers against the other teams in the wild card race.

Player of the game: Debby Nagasawa of the Rockies went 3-for-4, hitting two doubles and a single while knocking in 2 runs and scoring once herself.

Philadelphia Athletics 11, Super-Duper Wombats 9

After losing a close game to the Indians in Week 9, Philadelphia had the Red Sox nipping at their heels in the race for the AL East crown. While they had a bit of breathing room due to the Red Sox losing earlier this week, the Athletics still could use a clear-cut one-game lead, which they could get by beating the Wombats. Meanwhile, the Wombats were tied for the lead in the AL West (only beaten out by the Orioles command of tiebreakers), and with the Orioles winning against the Red Sox needed a win to keep pace. Although the Wombats had a solid performance, scoring 8 runs off of 14 hits and 3 walks while not allowing any runs, this wasn’t enough to keep up with the Athletics, who despite putting together their worst performance aside from their game against the Orioles still managed to pull out a win by producing an 11-run, 19-hit shutout that got them above the Wombats’ home bonus and gave them their eighth win on the season. When the dust cleared, the Athletics stayed in command of the AL East and the #2 seed, while the Wombats fell back a game to the division-leading Orioles.

Player of the game: Philadelphia’s Achmed Khan may have only gone 2-for-4, but those two hits were a single and a homer that knocked in 5 runs. Also, his band Ham Sandwich is currently on the hunt for a keyboardist. Contact him or Amir if you want to rock out, dude.