All recaps provided by JorgesBankAccount.

Bombers 10, Braves 1

The Braves have already played the entire season out and are just waiting on their opponents for their submissions. They didn’t have to wait long this week, as the Bombers posted their results in the narrow span of time between the start of the week and crazyei8hts posting the prediction challenge. While this meant that very few people got prediction points for this game (2, to be specific: Eauxps I. Fourgott and JorgesBankAccount), it also meant that the Bombers continued their role as one of the strongest teams in the league, with 18 hits on 31 at-bats for 9 runs and a shutout from Ernie Steele. While they had an easy time in this game, the Braves struggled when pitcher Todd Xavier allowed 7 runs and 15 hits (facing 30 batters) in an 8-7 squeaker that would have required the Bombers to lose to the AI for the Braves to win.

Player of the game: Ernie Steele went 2-of-3 including the game’s only homer and also had a perfect 4 innings to start the game, knocking out 12 batters on 38 pitches and recording 3 strikeouts.

Expos 10, Yankees 1

A Yankees team that’s currently cold as ice offensively collided with an Expos team that had finally started beating AIs for the biggest upset of the week when Jarod Johnson not only got his first win, but did so in style. The Expos notched 14 runs for the highest score at La Chancla in the NL this season, beating the previous high of 12 set by the Tapirs. Interestingly, both these high scores came from away teams; perhaps Casa de Pablo is a good place to vacation but not a good place to live? Either way, even though the AI Yankees managed 4 runs, Marco could only manage 2 while giving up a run of his own, and the Expos come away with their first win in an absolute demolishing of New York.

Player of the game: Judy Abwunza went 4-for-4 with 3 singles and a dinger to knock in 4 runs. Plus, she crossed the plate 3 times herself. Not too shabby.

Tapirs 14, Devil Rays 1

The Devil Rays AI started the year with a fearsome reputation, as it won the first four games of the year. With a couple of losses, cracks started to show, and after this latest game, I believe we can say that those four wins occurred because of weak competition: specifically, the NL West, where the New York Giants AI also managed to notch 3 wins (including one against T-Boz). Since leaving the division, the Devil Rays AI is 1-3, and the Devil Rays themselves have the same record. Meanwhile, the Tapirs continued their winning streak, extending it to four wins in a row as well as four games won by at least 12 runs. The Devil Rays still have a 2-game lead in the NL West, but one has to wonder if that can possibly hold for the rest of the season.

Player of the game: Dominique Lowe went 4-for-5 with 3 singles and a double, 5 RBIs, and 2 runs scored. Of course, if you want to credit someone else, A.C. Newman provided the soundtrack for the Tapirs with his magnificent 2012 album Shut Down the Streets. Just thought you might like to know.

Cardinals 6, Mariners 2

The Cardinals AI turned in yet another incredibly good performance, one that didn’t beat their opponent but kept them chained to a low score that made it easier for shrewsbury91 to win. Most of the Mariners only got up to bat thrice (the exception being Shawn Green, who came up four times), none of them got more than two hits, and the longest hits they had were doubles (3 in total). Despite holding the Cardinals to 1 run, the Mariners could only manage three off of 13 hits. Meanwhile, although the Cardinals registered 3 fewer hits and as many fewer plate appearances, they got two homers, one of which was a Jeff Conine grand slam. Combine that with not letting up any runs, and St. Louis took this game easily.

Player of the game: Jeff Conine only had one hit, but boy was it a big one: a grand slam that proved to be more than the margin of victory due to the sixth-inning home bonus.

Athletics 9, Orioles 2

The A’s have been arguably the strongest team in the AL, but this week revealed that there’s something that can slow them down: Sandy Flats. Nick Foles was only able to produce a 10-1 outing in what was easily the weakest game the A’s have produced this season (previous low: a run differential of 18 at Tin Can Alley against the Minnesota Monsters in a 24-18 loss). While they didn’t have too much trouble getting on base, with 20 hits on 35 at-bats, it was advancing the A’s had a problem with, as they left 10 runners stranded over the course of the game. Despite their comparatively poor performance, the A’s still managed to win because the Orioles had an even worse day, finishing with a 4-2 score that required them to knock in 2 in the bottom of the sixth. Like Philadelphia, Mavfatha had a problem with getting runners across the plate, as the Orioles had 16 hits on 28 at-bats but needed homers for most of their runs (2 homers accounted for 3 runs; the other one was a single from Matessa Sturges that brought Dmitri Petrovich home).

Player of the game: Amanda Hellerman went 3-of-4, notched a homer, and knocked in 2 runs (including the one she scored on the homer). But what’s really impressive is her pitching performance, where she struck out 12 Orioles at Sandy Flats.

Red Sox 16, Melonheads 13

The Red Sox continued their winning streak with a big day at the plate, sending 41 players up to bat. Everyone got at least one hit, and six players got three or more as the Red Sox knocked in sixteen runs in an “away” game at their home field. The Melonheads, meanwhile, had their best game since week 4, but it wasn’t enough to drag them across the finish line; part of this was the fact that as a team they only went 14-for-29 and a walk, which while not horrible by any means wasn’t enough (although give them credit: they only left four people on base).

Player of the game: In a heroic effort for the losing team, Maria Luna went 3-for-3 with a homer, knocked in 3 runs, scored 2 herself, and stole a team- and game-leading 4 bases–not to mention that on the mound she got 8 strikeouts and only allowed 2 hits in a 53-pitch shutout.

Angels 18, Giants 11

The Giants had their best game of the year offensively, notching 12 runs at home (although they did give up three). This was the fourth-best performance of the week in the NL. Unfortunately for them, they were playing the Angels, who have been on a rampage that would give even the most seasoned AL veterans pause and who posted the best score in the NL this week. So it was this week, when takenotes011 took over Dirt Yards to the tune of 24 runs. Even giving up a surprisingly large 6 runs wasn’t enough to give the Giants the boost they needed, and the Angels head into the All-Star Break with a winning record and a ton of momentum.

Player of the game: Troy Glaus went five of six, notched the cycle with an extra double(!), and smacked in 5 while crossing the plate four times himself. I’d say that warrants mention.

Diamondbacks 15, Pirates 8

The Diamondbacks came into this game fresh off of a disappointing 5-run performance in a loss to the Tigers. The Pirates came into this game having scored only 7 in a game against the Blue Jays that they still managed to win. Both teams were looking to improve, but only one did, as the Pirates failed to do much offensively; although everyone but Ezra Travolta got a hit, only 4 players got more than one. When you couple that with only 5 hits being for extra bases (although three of them were triples, oddly enough), you’re not seeing a recipe for a high score in this league. Arizona fared much better, seeing 40 at-bats, 24 hits, and 11 stolen bases on their way to notching a 15-0 win where everyone got a hit.

Player of the game: Pamela Kirkos went 3-for-5 with two doubles and a triple to knock in 3 runs and cross the plate twice.

Marlins 15, Cubs 5

The Cubs had a fairly solid outing this week, garnering 12 hits and 2 walks on 27 plate appearances and knocking in five runs while only allowing one (defense being something MarcoMcGwire has had trouble with in the past). Unfortunately for them, the fish chose to turn the tables on the bears this time, as the Cubs found themselves totally gutted by jibbodahibbo’s onslaught. Even though the Marlins allowed four runs, this meant nothing as the Marlins steadily pounded the Cubs before snatching a couple of power-ups and really driving them into the ground. When the dust cleared, the Marlins had put up the second-best score in the NL this week, and the Cubs had ended up tied with the Expos after the Expos snatched their first win.

Player of the game: In a game where the Marlins managed to get 28 hits, the best performance came from Yvonne Carter, who went 5-for-5 with a home run and also took the mound to throw the last two strikes of the game. I think we can call that an all-around good performance.

Indians 12, Blue Jays 8

The Indians stayed undefeated by beating the Blue Jays 12-8. Interestingly, this 12-run outing is tied for their worst on the season with another 12-run game; both took place at Steele Stadium, suggesting that the Indians might be weaker at home. Still, if this is the Indians at their weakest, you do NOT want to face them at their strongest, as that low is the second-highest in the AL (behind the Red Sox at 13 in Weeks 2 and 5). The Indians didn’t have the most spectacular day, going 19 of 32 with a walk and leaving 10 stranded, but they had a solid day, and it was enough to beat the Blue Jays straight up as KiiiiiiiiiiiiiS stumbled to his third-straight single-digit game and his fourth this season (the Grounderball hangover hitting him especially hard). The Indians remain undefeated and at the top of the AL; the Blue Jays sit at 2-5, but losses by the Orioles, Wombats, and Melonheads keep them in the lead in the AL West.

Player of the game: Sammy Sosa went 4-for-4 with 2 homers and 3 RBIs.

Rockies 18, Wombats 8

The Rockies started out the year by winning by only 2 against the AI, while the Wombats exploded for a 17-run win. Since then, they’ve taken completely opposite trajectories, with the Rockies marching to a 5-2 record and nipping at the Monsters’ heels for the wild card slot and the Wombats falling to 1-6. This last game was no different, with mbless putting up what’s become a fairly standard performance for the Rockies (albeit one that’s a bit above average) and Wizard giving the Wombats a performance that’s decent but more fitting for the NL.

Player of the game: The Rockies haven’t sent in their stats for this one, so, uh…let’s give it to Robert Smith. Show me how you do that trick, indeed.

Monsters 20, Tigers 7

The Monsters beat the Tigers, but nobody cares about that. The big story in this game? The delay into the All-Star Break followed by the resignation of both coaches. So let’s talk about that instead. For the Tigers, it’s a fairly simple story: they started out weak, GSchlim had little free time to play, and after forfeiting in Week 4 and being unmotivated to play in Week 7, GSchlim decided to hand the team off to someone else. Interestingly enough, the story is the exact same for Aesnop and the Monsters, right down to the Week 4 forfeit (albeit after having been caught goosing the AI) and lack of motivation in Week 7. The only real difference is that in Week 6, Aesnop got Eauxps I. Fourgott to substitute as the Monsters coach (the Monsters’ second loss of the season). Either way, this meant substitute coaches came in to play the Week 7 game. jlund24 was tapped to coach the Monsters, and had a lot of fun, putting up 17 runs at Tin Can Alley while notching 28 hits and 3 walks on 42 plate appearances. Meanwhile, Ozzman took over the Tigers as their permanent head coach, and knocked in 13 runs in his game…while also allowing 6. Hopefully things improve for the Tigers next week.

Player of the game: Jordan Thorner went 5-for-5 with four singles and a homer, crossed home thrice, and batted in three runs. He was a constant thorn in the tiger’s paw. (Yes, I’m mixing up my fables to make the pun work. No, I don’t care.)